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Song Parodies -> "Die, Christmas Tree!"

Original Song Title:

"Oh, Christmas Tree"

Original Performer:

Traditional (from 'O Tannenbaum')

Parody Song Title:

"Die, Christmas Tree!"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

It's not so widely known, but the Christian tradition of the Christmas tree comes from a story about St. Boniface chopping down a sacred Pagan tree as part of halting a child sacrifice.
Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
For you they murdered children.
Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
For you they murdered children.
And in revenge for blood they shed,
I'm going to cut you off instead.
Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
For you they murdered children.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Saint Boniface has felled you.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Saint Boniface has felled you.
And that is why it suits me fine
To stump and decorate a pine.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Saint Boniface has felled you.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You have to die, it's you or me.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You have to die, it's you or me.
Though it may seem like overkill,
I'll send you to the paper mill.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
You have to die, it's you or me.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Bad luck upon your worship!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Bad luck upon your worship!
We're shedding sap, the Greens complain;
If they want blood, let them be slain!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,
Bad luck upon your worship!
That which humans worship, they tend to destroy: just as Humanists regularly murder their gods by the million, tree-worshippers chop up their gods for firewood. That's where we get the tradition of the Yule log.
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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.9
Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
  0
  0
  
 2   0
  0
  0
  
 3   0
  1
  0
  
 4   0
  1
  1
  
 5   10
  8
  9
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kat - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Ummm,yeah, whatever.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? This song doesn't mention excrement at all, but PLS called it a "poop parody" and a "fecal masterpiece"; I don't get it! As for my opinion of the song itself...good pacing, but the imagery is too gruesome to score high in humor. 5-3-4.
Adagio - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked it a lot.
Dangling Chad - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Only two of the comments were from voters who could have rated this a 5. And yet there are 20 overall 5's.
Alpha Skua - November 25, 2017 - Report this comment
DIE NASTY TREE DIE NASTY TREE YOU KILL SONNY BONO AND MIKE KENNEDY

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