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Song Parodies -> "Retired Old Teacher"
Original Song Title:
"Wayfaring Stranger"
Original Performer:
Traditional - many versions
Parody Song Title:
"Retired Old Teacher"
Parody Written by:
Old Man Ribber
The Lyrics
After three months of wild revelry, I am ready to get some discipline back into my life. Soon I'll be returning to the classroom (at least a couple days each week) as a substitute teacher. Why? Because if I don't, I literally will party myself to death. What a way to go, but I'm not ready to be planning an "exit strategy." ;D
I'm just a bored retired old teacher
Been off three months - seems like ten years
I never thought this time would feature
Inherent dangers and great fears.
I'm going back to do some subbing
Not for the money I can save
It's 'cause my health's taking a drubbing
Don't want to meet an early grave
Each day I sleep at least twelve hours
I've put on twenty extra pounds
I've losing my endurance powers
No energy to do my rounds
I'm going back to get some order
Some structure for this wastrel life
I have become a wraith of Mordor
And I am p*ssing off my wife
I'm always playing horn and singing
Having a drink, a song, a joke.
But it is too much of a good thing
And every day three packs I smoke.
I'm going back a few days each week
And I'll feel fit and so alive
For there is one fate that I don't seek
Don't want to die at fifty-five!
Does anybody here want to hire a part-time middle school band director with an unrivaled record of achievements and a devious subversive sense of humor? ;D
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User Comments
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Good luck to you, Ribber, on your return endeavor.
You've already been teaching...everyone at AIR...how to write parodies...
You won't be doing any trimboning if you keep pissing the wife off.
Congratulations on taking a part-time job, OMR! :-) Great parody as well, and as for me, I might have to go on full disability depending on what the doctor will say about my knees and some other problems I have. I'm already on my first day of sick leave. 5s.
Grade is 'A' for your Parody of new schooldays...
If this is a job search site now, I'd better get to writing something more lucrative than my previous efforts. I'm tired of living on nothing until the time comes when we'll all go to the barricades.
That subversive sense of humor is what got you through all those middle school years, no doubt! The students will be lucky to have you back. :D
I hope this doesn't mean your parody output will decrease, but you sure don't need to smoke 3 packs a day! Good parody and good luck.
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