Won't you cast your vote for Howard?
The campaign trail I'll scour,
I'll even go to Maine.

And old Kerry I'll be catchin',
Hope my reputation's patchin',
I'm a little bit insane.

Not like Nero with a fiddle,
Not quite ready for committal,
I'm troubled but still sane.

And I know just what you're thinkin',
It's my head I should be shrinkin',
But I'm really not that lame.

Oh, I can't tell you why,
I'm not like old Al Gore,
But I sure can rant and rave and really roar.
Then throw a fit,
And rant some more.

And it's not this stuff I'm puffin',
Hope ballots you'll be stuffin',
I'm really very sane.

If I dance and be merry,
Would you cast your votes for Kerry?
Would you think that I'm insane?

So, I'd like to be appeasin',
I promise I'll stop seizin',
When doin' my campaign.

So now if I unnerve ya,
It's because I wanna serve ya,
And I'm not that much insane.