Please go away.

My prayers were not answered. You are still here.

I'm a Christian, but have never listened to a parody by "Me". The stuff here is supposed to be funny, and Christian stuff really isn't funny. If he wants to do some Christian songs based on popular songs (which is what he seems to be doing), he should post it on some Christian web site.

ISN'T FUNNY??? I'll have you know, God invented humor for your enjoyment, why take him out of it? How can you judge what I sing about when you haven't even heard my songs. For all you know, I could be funnier than all the other ones on here, lol :-D

You guys are soooo cruel. I can't belive that you would put somone down for just trying to be funny. Sry "Me" but some guys arn't as nice as you, plus not as christian as you. I think that you are really talented. Please keep writing songs! God Bless!

What offends me is that he's using the site to "spread the word."

Joe B, that is what I applaud him on. He's not afraid to offend, because he isn't part of this subjective world we seem to live in these days where everyone's beliefs are regarded equal. But we believe, in fact, know the truth that Jesus Christ is the Messiah. As arrogant as it sounds, this is right. If you disagree, then quite frankly, you are wrong. I don't go around trying to offend people, but if spreading the truth is offending, then so be it.

Your Worst Nightmare - rock on dude! that is so right. this site was open to anyone that wanted to put their parodys on it. You, Joe B, have no right what so ever to tell him that he cannot put his parodys on here. I don't care how much you hate them.

Thanks. I guess you know what culture I was hinting at. All the politically correct/postmodernist wackos who just say "Your way is good for you, and my way is good for me". Which is completely wrong, of course. I read about the incorrect concepts of postmodernism, in Beyond Belief to Convictions, a Christian book. Lately, I've been tired of just keeping my opinion to myself, trying to not look "intolerant". Jesus rules, and if anyone says otherwise, they are totally off the right track. ;-)

I believe - in fact, know - the truth that the most important human characteristic is dogmatic closed-mindedness. As arrogant as it sounds, this is right. If you disagree, then quite frankly, you are wrong, and should go shove a flaming crucifix into each of your orifices. I don't go around trying to offend people, but well, all right, yes I do.

Also, I believe in seeking the truth from objective sources. For example, if I want to know about the supposed nutritional value of lima beans, I will read a book called "Lima Beans Are Tools in the Gnarled Claws of Satan (And So Are You If You Eat Them)."

LOL!!!!!!! Pro-Thought, as much as you were making fun of me, I laughed my head off at your comment. Anyways, my point WAS, that reality isn't something for every individual, but for everyone, whether they want to face it or not. And whether or not people want to face the fact that Jesus is God, it is true. I await your next parody of my comment.

Sorry, I don't do requests. But here's a helpful mantra, free of charge:

What I believe is true. Anything that contradicts it is false.
What I believe is true. Anything that contradicts it is false.
What I believe is true. Anything that contradicts it is false.
What I believe is true. Anything that contradicts it is false.
What I believe is true. Anything that contradicts it is false.
[Repead ad infinitum.]

It's very simple, yet very effective. It has been shown to have amazing results with such groups as Christians, Nazis, cult members, right-wingers, left-wingers, and even guys who fly passenger planes into skyscrapers. Enjoy.

I don't believe that everything I believe is neccessarily true. And even if all that I have believed in was true, then my last sentence would desecrate it anyway. But, there are some things that I am confident of, one of them being that Jesus is the Messiah.

Isn't it interesting that the only recordings on this site that get any attention anymore are the ones about religion? Just look at our "Fear of God." And all that everyone ever does in the comments section is argue! Some of the arguments are intelligent and well thought out, but come on! It may be fun but I'd be interested in seeing what people though of the music and lyrics! So here's what I think: I can't judge your parody on scan and pacing because I don't know the original. Your singing is decent, but you have a tendency to go off pitch. Spend more time on playback after you record. The guitars seem to be a bit off with the drums at times. The mix sounds very treble-y, but it might be your equipment (I don't know what you have). The background vocals can come up more (unless there's a good reason to keep them low). And as for the lyrics, I can't understand half of them. This may be related to your pitch issue. If, in listening to the lead vocal after you record it, you can pull up your lead vocal and bring down the rest, you should be able to hear what I'm talking about.

I think that having this argument is a good thing to do. I really believe that the christian community can reach more people by song and word. so, even though we really should be talking about the song, which i liked anywho, I think that we should go on talking about it and anyone who would like to talk can do so about this whole christian thing. by the way, my name is Melissa Lent but my friends call me missie.

Missie, the problem is, most people here at AmIRight, don't care to hear about this kind of stuff. I mean, look at most of the comments Me has been getting. They aren't too positive. Most of them believe in evolution and that God is a superstition or a fairy tale. That is why I beat logic into them until they have to agree with me. http://www.amiright.com/performances/items/performances_1084965637.shtml If you want to get involved, leave some comments there about how preposterous the concept of evolution is.

YWN, I don't think that Jesus would approve of your "beating logic into them until they have to agree with me" or your egotistical attitude.

Sam - We arn't beating anything into anyone! If we wanted to do that then I would ask for your address and come and throw a bible at you! and trust me, with your attitude, I would if I could! But, in the name of the Lord, I don't believe in phisical voilence. and I would apreciate it if you would just stay away from this site if you have nothing nice to say about it. God says that you should try to keep other people at a higher level than your self. I'm going to pray for you and for all of the other people that believe in the noncense of the world. thanks - YWN - but I still believe that if anyone has anything to say they can say it, but i fit is unreasonable believe me, I will probably be their worst nightmare!

by the way, Me, you really should keep on writing songs. I do believe that if people keep on talking about them then you could get more people to start believeing. You can always be surprised by how the lord deals with his people... God bless! :-)

Sam, what egotistical attitude would that be? If someone says something illogical, like that we evolved from soup, I'll be quick to correct them. Like Missie said, it's not like I go around literally beating sense into people.

Yeah, I'm glad Me has written these songs, so that now we have some Christian diversity. People think Me is forcing his religion on people, but all he's doing is letting people, not forcing them, to hear his awesome songs. Not only that, but there are SEVERAL songs just completely blaspheming God, so why can't we glorify him?

YWN, I wasn't accusing YWN of beating logic into people, just quoting him. See his comment of June 9. I also believe in diversity, but no one (this includes people of all religions, atheists, agnostics, evolutionists, creationists, etc.) should try to force their beliefs on anyone else. This tends to piss people off. People should be able to decide how they feel and believe with NO PRESSURE. Get it? No, you probably don't.

Well thanks, that makes me feel a whole lot better about myself! I you want to believe that crap that you do then go and do that esle where! leave people like me alone!

Hey Sam, I don't agree with you. Once AGAIN, when somebody says something illogical, I will correct them. I'm not going to just accept the fact that people will believe some dunder-headed hypothesis and leave them alone. Now, why would someone believe an obvious lie such as evolution? Because people are desperate to not have to be subject to God. And if someone starts saying they believe trash like that, they're going to get a mouthful of reality, got it?

i am sitting next to melissa

First of all, YWN, I'll start off by saying that I am not a quote - end quote 'postmodernist wacko' thankyouverymuch.........The Christian religion, is not to be put down as 'WRONG', because it like every other religion ... yes, EVERY other religion ... has its good points (teaching forgiveness, service, humility etc.) and its bad points (more on that later). I don't have a problem with Christians in general, just with people who insist that their theory/faith is the only way and the only one that can possibly be correct. Can that be said of you? Guess what. Yes; yes it could. You state, "But we believe, in fact, know the truth that Jesus Christ is the Messiah. As arrogant as it sounds, this is right. If you disagree, then quite frankly, you are wrong." How would you know? Are you God? I don't think so! Here's the deal: The Bible is a book. A book, written thousands of years ago by many different people, translated from another language. Simply another viewpoint on divinity, what happens after death and how the world was created. Keep in mind that it too was written by ordinary people just like you and me, and that there are many other 'holy books' and philosophies -- the Torah of Judaism. The Qu'ran of Islam. The Rede of Wicca. I personally don't believe in the Bible's teachings because it has many contradicting rules and because it incorporates sexism, racism, bestiality, child or animal sacrifice, and the notion that humans are superior to all other life. (Don't believe me? If you read the Bible so thoroughly, then yes, there are passages like that in there.) You might agree with what the 'Word of God' says but I do not. I think that is fine. And FYI, I don't prance about naked, chant in different languages and hang amulets everywhere ... just so you're aware. The notion of Heaven and Hell confuses me, because think about it, why would people supposedly be sent to Hell by a God who is supposed to be eternally loving and forgiving? I don't think there is a single male God, I believe that women are equal to men and I think all life should just live and let live. I can believe what I want, and I don't want to live my life in fear and by a document that is just another human religious belief and that could be right or seriously twisted. And if I go to 'Hell' for my beliefs, so be it, because according to Aesop: "Better to starve free than to be a fat slave." And that, YWN, is what I think about the issue. Good day to you.

I'm sorry, but I'm just confident in some things. I am aware that the Bible had animal sacrifice in it, in fact, everyone knows that. I am also certain that it said men were better than animals. It abominates child sacrifice, but there was one point where God told Abraham that he had to sacrifice his child, but then later, God spared him. It does not have racism. As for sexism, I don't think I'd say there's sexism in the Bible, but Paul encourages wives to submit to their husbands. And what makes God loving is that he doesn't throw ALL of us into Hell, which we deserve.

As for danny, good for you.

The Bible itself might ('might' being the keyword here -- a thousand or so pages is not exactly light reading) not have racism, but Jesus is frequently/always depicted as a white male -- well, except for in Madonna videos. We deserve Hell? There's another problem right there. Humans are called sinful, horrible and vastly flawed. The Christian religion encourages people to turn away from what is natural for them, and that is what bothers me. This story of Adam and Eve, and such things as that. I don't think that is true. Do I believe in evolution? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe we just can't figure it out, or maybe we don't know for sure because we're not supposed to. And the animal sacrifice. I'm not a PeTA person (as a matter of fact, I can't stand them) but I think animal sacrifice or testing or whatever can be classified as abuse or murder -- as a matter of fact, technically humans are a species of animal. My belief is that 'evil' occurs because people in general have been 'trained' (for lack of a better word) to be greedy, to abuse the world's creatures and to tear up the Earth. In the belief they were supposed to control the planet. Am I crazy? I think not, or I hope not. But I have a 3 year old Border Collie cross and I mean to be as good to him as I can. I think [other?] animals are beautiful because they have none of the prejudices that humans have. They're innocent. And they act how they would naturally. (No Bible. Lucky, they are.) I read a recent interview with Marilyn Manson (yes, Marilyn Manson.) and though I personally don't like him he made a good point. One is stuck in an endless cycle of sin, feel guilty and repent, sin, feel guilty and repent, sin, feel guilty and repent. Why? Because if you tried not to sin, you'd be walking on eggshells. The Bible tells us the following and more: Do not wear clothing woven with two different materials. Do not cut your hair at the temples. Do not trim your beard. Do not eat shellfish. Do not breed different breeds of animals with other breeds. A woman on her, ahem, 'cycle' is unclean for seven days after her cycle starts, and whatever she sits on becomes unclean. Pigs, rats and snakes are evil/unclean. None of these make any sense to me at all. o_O The concept of Heaven/Hell is also dodgy to me in that it seems rather uneven. So, the good people go to Heaven, where they spend forever in paradise. The bad people go to Hell, where they are tortured forever. I examine these notions and the first thing that comes to mind is "And then what? That's it?" Reincarnation? Could be.

.... The Bible depicts Jesus as a MALE, because he WAS. He was also a Jew, as in he descended from Abraham, so he was white. To depict him otherwise would be historically inaccurate. And yes, salvation is not only being saved, but a change in heart. Jesus was crucified just to save the sins of those who received him as their Savior. So should we pay him back by sinning against him? And if someone kills an animal, it is definitely not murder. It is only murder if you kill a human being. It is only abuse if you are killing an animal for no reason other than anger or something such as that. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice, so sacrificing wasn't needed anymore. Don't think I go around running over cows and throwing cats into furnaces. For one, furnaces are expensive. But, the point is, I don't hate animals or kill them. I don't think it is wrong to kill animals if it is for food or clothing though. As for sinning, basically, I guess that is the cycle that Christians go through. But when we sin, we aren't planning later to feel guilty and repent, we just act on the pressure of the moment. Also, all those things you just mentioned that the Bible had said... Here is why. All of those things it was condemning were the things that pagan nations did. They needed to separate themselves from tribes like that. As for women on their period, it is just...um...messy for her to be in 'action'. As for the kosher, I don't know why it was considered unclean at that time, but I'd have to read my Bible to see all the details.

No, I don't mean bleeding on the object (bed...couch...whatever). I mean, just being on her cycle, makes her unclean. *rolls eyes* And what is wrong with pagans? It's pretty disturbing that they are depicted as brutal, uncouth, etc. when in fact pagans today (neo-pagans, I suppose) respect nature and life. The Salem witch trials were total crap. The Christian church basically invented some imaginary practice where women cast curses and rode around on broomsticks and whatever and dealt with the devil, to scare people into the churches. Innocent people who were just misunderstood were accused and subjected to torture that no one deserves -- whipping, beating, thumbscrews, stretching on the rack, boiling oil poured in their ears, being hanged, burned .... and so on. I don't think that should have happened at all. No one deserves that, especially when they were innocent people who weren't doing anything. If you were a man and wanted to be with another woman, you could accuse your current wife (or whatever) of witchcraft and she'd be tried, accused and put through torture. *sigh*

Jesus wasn't white... You've been looking at white depictions of him too long. He was Jewish, which means he was freaking Semitic. Believe it or not, Semitic was a bit different in race back then than it is now. Jews have intermarried with a lot of races throughout the years, and despite the fact that Jews have a bittersweet outlook on converts, they have members within whites, Middle Easterners, Slavs, Ethiopians, and even some Asians. For a more complete definition of Semites: "Semites are people who speak Semitic languages; the group includes Arabs, Aramaeans, Jews, and many Ethiopians. In a Biblical sense, Semites are people whose ancestry can be traced back to Shem, Noah's eldest son. The ancient Semitic populations were pastoral Nomads who several centuries before the Christian Era were migrating in large numbers from Arabia to Mesopotamia, the coasts of the Mediterranean Sea, and the Nile River delta. Jews and other Semites settled in villages in Judea, southern Palestine." Source: http://mb-soft.com/believe/txo/semites.htm

I never saw that in the Bible, Monkey. The only thing in there I've seen about a woman's period is that she should not be in intercourse during her time. As for witchcraft, I don't approve at all of the witch trials that went on. For instance, a woman could be accused of being a witch if she could swim. I think witchcraft is wrong, but going around accusing everyone of being a witch and torturing them is also very wrong.

You would if you looked at Lev 15:19-24. Also, the Bible says that you can own slaves from neighbouring nations (Lev 25:44; so that means apparently that I can be taken into slavery by an American person :( ). Do not cut your hair at the temples - Lev 19:27 forbids that expressly. You are allowed to sell a son or daughter into slavery - Exodus 21:7. You can't approach the altar of God if you have a defect in your sight, according to Lev 21:20. And, of course, the infamous passage forbidding homosexuality lies in Lev 18:22. It disgusts me when anti-gay people claim "God hates gay people!". Using a 'holy text' to back up their hatred. I have to wonder how they can think they are 'spreading Christ's love' by condemning gay men and women, who I'm sure can accept God (and Goddess!)'s love whatever their orientation. Love is love, and I see no reason to allow it only between a man and a woman. Why shouldn't it be legal? My reasons that it should be legal: 1) Gay people who love each other should be allowed to marry as a basic human right; 2) Although I'm lucky to be a Canadian girl where as far as I know gay marriage is legal, it's totally un-Constitutional to assume that everyone should live under the Bible; 3) Love feeds love and hate feeds hate. It's never been the other way around and never will be. Nothing is going to be solved if we keep on shouting that gay people will get themselves a one way ticket to Hell. It could only be a victory if gay people are nationwide given the freedom to pursue marriage to the one they love...............And another thing. 'Witchcraft' in the Bible is used to refer to either spoken curses to harm people, or poisoning enemies. Modern Wiccans do neither as they live under the rule "An it harm none, do what thou wilt" and also, they believe that whatever you do comes back to you three times over. (Karma cubed.) I'll agree with you on one thing -- that torture to anyone is twisted stuff. Agreeing with you on much else ..... might, uh, take some time.

I'm not exactly sure what the Bible means by 'unclean' in these passages. It might be talking about physical uncleanliness as in they might contract diseases. And with the slaves issue, I know that God does not condemn slavery, however he teaches slaveowners to be kind and gentle to their slaves. Not that I approve of African slavery, because they were treated inhumanely, having to be stuffed into boats, all crammed in next to each other, plus, I think that as a free nation, the particular tradition of slavery had to be stopped. It wasn't a sin to have slaves but to treat them badly. Sometimes, it was only humane to buy slaves to take them away from their abusing sellers. I remember the story of a person who bought a slave, fed him well, taught him to read, and freed him. Luckily now, everyone in this country is free. I would also like to mention that I do not hate homosexuals, however believe what they are doing is wrong. It is just a perversion. As for your saying that God loves everyone, I would have to disagree. "Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated." Being a reformed presbyterian, I believe in predestination and that before Creation, God had known who would be anointed for salvation. If he loved everyone, he would redeem everyone. He accepts us, more than the other way around. I know this is contrary to what most Christians believe in, but God actually hates people. But he hates and loves people before they are born. Say a thief who has been living a very sinful life (liberal lingo - "alternative lifestyle"), was saved later on in life. God did not hate him while he was sinning and then start loving him. He loved him all the time. God chooses us. Here is an example I remember learning on a youth group retreat: The Bible tells us that we are dead in our sins. If a scientist walked in a morgue and said that he had a potion that could bring people to life, would the corpses get up and take it? No, because they are dead. He would have to poor it down their throats.

I believe that pagans, whether uncouthe and brutal or kind and gentle are misguided. That's all I have to say about that.

I would like you to know that I don't want to offend. I know, in my heart, that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, and I don't want to attach some kind of a disclaimer when I say that. I hope you understand.

That's fine that you believe what you believe so deeply. I wasn't disagreeing with that you believed that Jesus Christ was the Messiah; I just disagreed with your stating that people who did not believe that same thing were wrong/misguided/etc. As for "Me", I don't have a problem with his parodies. He has a point when he says that there are loads of parodies insulting God, and as far as I know he isn't shouting "YOU WILL ALL GO TO HELL" (not that anyone is). :) Just as a fairly unrelated note -- you're probably a lot older than I am, too.

How can I put this... You see, Me along with any other Christian believe Jesus is the only way to Heaven. That is what the Bible teaches. That is why I say that one is misguided when he believes there is another way. I'm not into the fire and brimstone thing, but the Bible also teaches that if you are not with Jesus, you will have to suffer eternally when you die. That is why we preach the Word so much. BTW, I doubt I'm much older than you. (13)

You're 13?!? Dude, I'M 13! (Wed. Aug. 15, 1990) O_O I thought you were like twenty-something, thirty-something, for some reason.

You are older than me then. (May 27, 1991) Yeah, people mistake for an adult when I talk on the internet a lot. Call me precocious, I guess. I didn't figure you for 13 either. Most of the people here are adults.

YWN - You know, you have thoroughly cured me of thinking that you could possibly be an adult. In fact, judging from your close-minded, absolutist attitudes I have severe doubts that you will EVER be an adult, except perhaps chronologically. I wouldn't want to exactly say that you are narrow-minded but it's a pretty good bet a single pin-point could poke out both your eyes in a single thrust.

that is quite enough! you guys are just going on and on and on sooo much that I cannot keep up with what you are saying. Funky monkey- yea your right the bible is just a book but that dosn't mean that you can go on for hours about how stupid it is! you could spent much more time reading it!

Actually, boy hater, I think FunkyMonkey has done his homework. If he hadn't read the Bible before, he wouldn't be able to quote it so much.

Paul Robinson, believing Jesus is the only way to Heaven is not narrow-minded.

How do you know that he read it? mabye all he did was look through it and quote it! mabye he heard things from other people! according to me I do belive that you, funkey monkey, have not read the bible, or mabye, like YWN said, you did but even then I don't think that with your messed up mind, you wouldn't be able to get it! Learning from that, I think that you should try listining to some people before you call them names, especially me, or you will get it back really hard! YWN- If you think even once that funky monkey is right then you are messed up too! Oy! boys!

YWN - Hey, whatever you say, young man. Who am I to argue with the sole authority on what happens to souls after life ends? You're so sure here and yet I admit I have no clue in this area. Educate me. So you've been there? Checked it out? What's it like? Do the rest of us go straight to Hell or do some who weren't so awful get to bring you Crackers, Cheese-whiz and Root Beer while you lounge around in Paradise? Brought back some evidence? Please share with those of us who are less plugged in...

O M G! Pleeze stop. You people think that you are going to be our servents? oh no. If you believe that then you are wayyyyyy off. If you do really bad things and don't ask for your forgiveness and just keep on going doing things like that then you will end up in hell no matter what you say! but if you believe like me and YWN, then you will be in a place where there is no more pain and other nice things. I will be perfict but we will not have everything. We will be so content with ourselves that we will not care if it is perfict. And to evedince, Well, we have the bible and miracles and that is all that I need.

Missie, I don't think Funky is right, but it seems to me he has read the Bible before. Although he is wrong, I do not believe his mind is messed up. He had some valid arguments, not that I agree with him, but I don't think he's loony.

Paul, I have already made it clear before why it is only reasonable to believe in God. It is not unreasonable to not believe in Jesus. I believe they are on the wrong path, but not unreasonable. But I think Christianity is the only religion where it actually says that war can be neccessary, which is why I said in another post on a different song that conservatism and Christianity kind of go together. Come to think of it, I just remembered that you said that war can be neccessary once. So you're one of the less liberal democrats, thank the Lord. Although you think that may have nothing to do with the conversation, I am taking a controversial thing you agree with from the same Book that teaches salvation in Jesus Christ. If you want proof, you could determine how Jesus fulfilled the several prophecies written years before his time.

Also, Missie, on your next comment, I will give a reply. No, he does not think some people will be our servants, he is just trying to make a mockery out of Heaven and Hell with his sarcasm. I noticed you said that if you do really bad things and don't ask for forgiveness, you will go to Hell, but actually, even if you do many good deeds and don't ask for forgiveness, you will still go to Hell. Just hope you notice that. Although it may seem unfair to some, everyone has sinned in their life, and it would be fair if he put everyone in Hell, however he was kind enough to give his only son, Jesus, so those who would receive his forgiveness would have eternal life. You also seemed to imply that Heaven is imperfect. No, I would have to disagree, in the place where the road is paved with gold and there is no crime and everyone has restored bodies in, I would have to say that the heavenly paradise God offers us is perfect. You seem like a good person to me Missie, and you like to stick up for God, which is great, but you should watch what you are saying sometimes. No offense. ;-)

First off, I'm a GIRL. (And straight as a line as well, for what it's worth.) I'd thought you would recognize that from my post starting "You would if you looked at...(etc.)" in which I told you all that I'm lucky to be a Canadian girl. This doesn't help the situation in that I'm now convinced you haven't even read my posts, missie. Thanks for that. You are talking to a female mOnKeY. "She" and "her", please. Savvy? ... Right. Now, listen, missie/boy hater and whoever else. I *never* said -- knowing well what I posted -- that I am absolutely right about my religious ideas. I don't know that; I haven't conferred with the Big Guy in the Sky vis-a-vis ... in other words I can't say that I'm right and everyone else is wrong. But at the same time, no Christian (such as YWN and missie), Buddhist, Hindu, Jew, Muslim, Wiccan, etc. could say for sure that they are ultimately right and everyone else is wrong, either. Right?

I've been trying to be polite, but now that I've reached my point I'm not holding back..... Now, listen. Maybe the Bible isn't totally inerrant! Like I said, who would know? We're all human here. What I happen to think is that as long as you live a good life you'll be rewarded. I don't want to live my life by a document. The Bible is just another viewpoint on things ('things' being how the world was created, what happens after death, etc.). It could be a story someone wrote, it could be a series of recorded dreams. I personally would prefer not to live by the Bible. (Gasp!) I'm not going "OMGOMG u r such a loser . u r so retarded!!!!!!!!1" to anyone and hopefully I never will.

I would prefer to stay open to all ideas and cultures! Think about it; why not think beyond what the Bible says? Is it that church dogma is the only thing people can possibly follow? Just because I try to be open minded does not mean, missie, that I have a, what did you call it? oh yeah! "a messed up mind". Have I read the Bible? Yes, I have, thanks. As a matter of fact I go to a Catholic school where we had to do *assignments* based upon the Bible's teachings. And I repeatedly noticed that the teachings of the Church (which is actually a mixture of Christianity and paganism, but they pretend to be Christian) are: "Give up your money and power of individual thought to the Church or be tortured forever in Hell!" Scare tactics, no less. Catholic teachers whip students across the knuckles. I don't agree with that, and I don't agree with biblical teachings.

Pardon me, but I do not think that God cares if I eat shellfish, have friends of other religions or whatever. My best friend is agnostic. Horrors! Oh, horrors! Some Christians .... no, not *all* of them, just the really overzealous, sanctimonious ones .... seem to think that if only the poor, misguided non-Christian people learned about Jesus, they would promptly fall upon their knees, scream "How could I have been so blind!", burst into tears and convert on the spot.

Reality check. I have been raised Roman Catholic ('Christian' *cough*) all of my life and have always felt dissatisfied with the Church. I have read the Bible, and I have done sufficient -- no, more than sufficient -- research on the Christian religion. There. How do you like them apples? - . -

Sorry for forgetting you were a girl, Funky. It wasn't until recently I found out Kristof Robertson is actually a guy. You are right about the Catholic church. No wonder it is called Roman Catholicism. They pretty much replaced all the gods with saints, and instead of praying to God, they pray to Mary. That is why I say Catholicism is a religion itself, not a denomination.

I respect your beliefs, but I really know that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and nothing can change that. I don't look at non-Christians in a disdainful attitude, nor do I call them losers, except losers of their souls.

BTW, you were speaking of kosher, something that the Jews follow, not the Christians. Somewhere, I think maybe in the late Old Testament God said they could eat freely of the beasts again.

YWN, Hello my friend. I hope you don't mind me merging into traffic. I hope what I tell you gives you comfort during your intense conversations. I will talk to you because I am sure you would understand what I am saying. The Bible isn't just a book of stories just to make us afraid. It is a written documentation of Jesus Christ from the time in the garden until He rules and reigns. It is a scarlet thread of redemption woven throughout the book. It shows that there is only redemption through the shed blood of Jesus and not trough works though "faith without works id dead." As far as people thinking Jews and Christians are different beliefs, yes and no. The only thing seperating both is the fact that the Jewish people for the most part have rejected the Messiah when He came and that opened up the way for the Gentiles to have an opportunity to recieve salvation. In the latter days the Jews will return to their Messiah and accept His sacrafice. The conversation also talked about people being good or bad determining where they will end up. Well it is written that none are good. Since Adam had sinned, all after him were born into sin. It is only through the blood of Jesus that anyone can enter into the Father's presence. The Father cannot look upon sin so those not covered with the blood must be cast from His presence. Not really preaching. Just a conversation between two friends. :-)

Nice to know that you are a Christian, David! I think you have been my favorite parody author, not just for humor, but your songs don't have profanities or anything racial or dirty. I totally agree with you, except on one point. You said, "until He rules and reigns". This has always been a confusing subject for me. The world couldn't be run by Satan, or else life would be total chaos. I believe my church teaches that God rules the world, but it just seems to me that if he did, life would be better. Then again, everything bad that happens we deserve, and we all are born into sin by Adam. I think bad things were just supposed to happen after the Fall. I usually don't think of it as Jesus reigning, but God reigning. Whether I mean the Trinity or God the Father, I'm not sure. Perhaps each person in the Trinity has his own purpose. Jesus's purpose is salvation for souls, God the Father's purpose was creating the Earth and ruling over it, and the Holy Spirit's purpose is to guide Christians, and was to guide the authors of the Bible.

Jesus said "Before Abraham was I Am" When the Lord talked to Moses He called Himself I Am. Jesus is Emanuel-"God with us". "in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God". John 1:1. God had to have a perfect sacrifice to atone for sin. A "lamb" without blemish. Since there wasn't a man on earth without sin He had to come down in the form of man to fulfill this. As for Satan, he was given reign of this earth until which time the Lord is to remove him and reign. Revelation. I believe the catholic bible calls it the apocalypse. I won't go any deeper at this point. The Holy Spirit will open your eyes as you seek the Lord and will only reveal what you can handle at the time. But only those who are truly saved can see what we can see. Just be careful who you cast your pearls to. They may trample them and then turn on you. If they do that then don't waste your time with them. You probably won't change them and the Holy Spirit probably isn't drawing them. Arguing with them could only hurt yourself by saying things you shouldn't and not accomplishing anything. Test the spirit behind the person to determine if they are worth talking to. And study my friend. An unsure answer will only open you to attacks.

Yes, please stop casting your pearls before us. PLEASE. On behalf of all of us swine, I'm begging you.

YWN - IF I believed this it would pose a severe dilemma - see ALL my family and descendants going as far back as I know (and beyond, probably) were 100% Jewish. So they probably didn't, you know, accept Jesus. So they are all in deep-eternal doo-doo now according to your beliefs. So even if I thought you were right I would be conflicted about committing to it, since I'd be leaving them behind. Frankly, I'd take a pass - that is IF I believed any of it to begin with. Perhaps you should consider this before you harangue people with your unbending, rock-solid beliefs. Because IF I believed it I can tell you I would be sorely offended, possibly even a bit hurt. Luckily, I DO NOT. I really know better than to keep this going...sorry, folks...

David, it seems we have different beliefs. I am aware that Satan is roaming the Earth, but I don't think he is ruling the Earth. As for Revelation, one must be sure not to take it too literally. It seems possible that what it was predicting happened a while ago. For instance, there was a language at Paul's (Not Paul Robinson) time, that translated letters into numbers. Nero Caesar's number was 666. I haven't gotten to him in history, but I think I remember hearing he killed several people. Doesn't the Bible say the beast will rise from roman descent? Also, when you said the "catholic bible", did you mean the word "catholic", or were you speaking of Roman Catholicism? I am not Catholic, one reason being that I believe we should pray to God, not Mary.

Paul, I'm sorry that your descendants weren't saved, but that is no reason to follow in the same direction. I'm sure they'd want you to come to Christ. So...just think about it.

YWN, I'm not going to debate doctrinal differences. As long as you are saved that is what is important. I just felt that after monitoring the conversations that I felt that I needed to let you know you aren't alone in your faith. I am also considering ending my submitting of parodies because this site seems to be attracting hateful and just plain discusting people. It seems that the standards that Chuck G has at the beginning are ignored even by the censors. So as in the words of the Lord I shall come out from among them and be seperate and clean.

I agree with you, David, the most important thing is that we're saved. I also was thinking of leaving the site, seeing as there were so many songs that trashed God, and were immoral, until I saw Me's songs, and I thought there might be hope after all. When I first came to AmIRight, December of last year, I didn't see any of that. It was around March that I started noticing several songs that I was surprised they got through the censors. I hope you'll stay, because we need as much Christian support as we can. ;-)

I'm going to interject again (and hopefully be ignored again). I think one of the hardest things about being involved in any religion is the faith aspect. Being a Christian myself, there are tons of things that supposedly "contradict" the Bible, the teachings of the Lord, the church in itself. Take evolution, for example. You've got several thousand highly educated biologists who have several thousand facts and theories on their side, while all you have is...the Bible. And the best part is, the Bible is no longer taken seriously as a highly significant document in the world of science. I think that it's that kind of adversity that the Lord puts his believers into in order to strengthen their faith, which is prone to dwindling in our world of "humans rule the universe" attitudes. You've just got to believe that there's something bigger out there, bigger than science, bigger than antagonistic arguments. [/end motivational speech]

That was remarkable, EmiLoca. You seem to have a lot of faith in God. Sadly, if there wasn't so much scientific support for Creation, I might not believe in God. (Albert Einstein was one of many Christian scientists out there) There are some things, however, as you said, people must take in faith. Kind of weird thinking in this place, we're having a serious discussion, and in another place, we're talking about alcoholic Mountain Dew and corpses. ;-)

You want to know what really makes me angry?

Nothing pisses me off like sanctimonious "holier than thou" people that seem to believe that THEIR beliefs are the only ones that are rock solid the whole way through and without fallacy.

What -- may I ask -- puts the Bible before all other holy books and philospohies? What gives you, YWN, the right to say "Although [s]he is wrong, I do not believe his[her] mind is messed up" (referring to myself).

So I must be wrong. Of course; it's all so clear. I must be a poor, miseducated, gaggling half-wit, unenlightened wench for aspiring to think for myself rather than having an archaic book of ideas and stories think for me!! I cannot believe some people. It is one thing to believe in whatever, and it's entirely another thing to fling it in other people's faces, insisting that that person will be tortured eternally in Hell, covered in maggots and burning in flames, if they do not bend to the Almighty Christian's beliefs.

Here's a quote from the do-no-wrong boy hater:
"If you do really bad things and don't ask for your forgiveness and just keep on going doing things like that then you will end up in hell no matter what you say! but if you believe like me and YWN, then you will be in a place where there is no more pain and other nice things. I will be perfict but we will not have everything. We will be so content with ourselves that we will not care if it is perfict. And to evedince, Well, we have the bible and miracles and that is all that I need. "

Nice. And plenty of spelling/grammar mistakes in there too. I prefer to think that everyone's beliefs are sound as long as their practices are not destructive.

But ... GASP! That belief must make me someone who is ... OPEN-MINDED!!! Shock! Panic! Evil! Oh, no! Oh, horrible heresy! FETCH THE SMELLING SALTS!

Oh, never mind. After all, since I'm not bending to your dogmatic beliefs, I'm not worth talking to and my soul will ride a one-way ticket to Hell, won't it?

I'll post another YWN quote directed at Paul:
"Paul, I'm sorry that your descendants weren't saved, but that is no reason to follow in the same direction. I'm sure they'd want you to come to Christ. So...just think about it. "

You know what? Those words spell out a single, flaming word in my mind: ARROGANCE. I can practically see you patting him on the back and offering him a cookie. "Believe what I do, or Satan will take you over. Your families' souls will be destroyed in Hell, since they refuse to be enlightened by Christ, who is the only theory that could possibly be correct while every other religion is Satanism in disguise. Cheers." ... And I'll bet you're sorry. I'll just bet.

Another thing is that Christianity seems a little as though the Church glosses over the nastier aspects of the Bible. In 'God's Word', God repeatedly authorizes ....
- Killing religious leaders
- Murdering relatives or friends who venture to explore other religions
- Destroying or defacing other places of worship

And the list goes on. I suggest the Bible-bangers (and any other unyielding, extremely religious people) here take a little trip to www.religioustolerance.org. You might learn something.

Heck, Funky, leave me alone. I believe with all sincerity that Jesus is the only way to Heaven, and I already said nothing can change that. I never said all religions are Satanism. I don't mean anything at all bad-intentioned, and I was just trying to encourage Paul to come to Christ, which you can easily twist into evil manipulating. I'm not here to manipulate anyone. I think you said earlier that there is no way to know. Well, I know. I can't force you to believe what I believe, but I know.

GOOD ME. YOU HUMANS KNOW SOOOO LITTLE, AND YET YOU BLATHER INCESSANTLY ABOUT IT. PLEASE JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE, FOR THE LOVE OF ME.

As a geriatric wise sage at sixteen years old, I will offer my accumulated wisdom to the bickering 13 year olds. Of course it is arguable whether or not God exists, of course there is ample evidence to go both ways. Through generations of scientific research much has been explained about the creation of the universe and all within it, but there a wall that they come to. This wall, I feel, is opened up through the word of God. BARE WITH ME, DON'T SWITCH OFF! I remember back to the days after reading 'Sophie's World' several times that I spent many a night agonising over what the answers were to life's great questions and (after arguing with myself in a similar fashion to you young tykes) realised that it would be very hard for me to explain to ants or whatnot about the human complexities of which we are aware in various fields. In this same light, I see the Bible as a way of God telling us the answer of life in the only way that he can- through Jesus, a fellow human. And I can see how his message of human folly can be the reason for Christians messing it up sometimes when they attempt to translate this answer for others. All I'm saying is that Jesus fits my niche on the outlook of existence and that due to HUMAN INTERFERENCE, the message has been distorted and changed over time. I am fine if anyone thinks otherwise.

LOL..... Thanks "God"....

"Sadly, if there wasn't so much scientific support for Creation, I might not believe in God."
Not that you've shown me any yet :-P.
And yes I realize, I haven't really shown you any proof that *I'm* right either, only evidence - this being partially because scientists don't talk about proof, only likelihood based on evidence, but mostly because I'm not a biologist, just a cs major with a passing interest in linguistics, which crosses paths with evolutionary theory occasionally so I've picked up random bits ;-). I do recommend you find a nonpartisan book on the subject or a nonpartisan biology professor who knows his/her stuff, though ;-).

YWN - With all due respect, Thanks, but no thanks...

I'd like to clear something up that is probably extremely obvious, but has recently been lodged into the nether regions of our brains. When you are of pretty much any religion, it makes absolutely no sense for your religion to promote open-mindedness towards things that disprove your beliefs. Believing in something simply REQUIRES closing your mind to other ideas, because, frankly, if you're opening your mind to something, you're normally closing it to something else. With religion, there is no "gray". Things are what they were, what they are, and how they will be forever. Asking a religious person to consider an idea or concept that supposedly disproves an aspect of their religion is ridiculous - do you really think that they're going to lay down their faith, hope, and love for their god in exchange for a "lesser" statement? I'm aware that this goes for non-believers as well - they are free to practice their religion (or to practice nothing) without persecution. But peaceful encouragement to join a religion is nothing to throw a tanty about. "Just say no". In conclusion, I said the word "tanty"! I'm having a great day.

Well, neminem, perhaps it is more the lack of evidence for evolution than the evidence for Creation. If we weren't created and didn't evolve, what other theory is there? (BTW, there happened to be a set of dinosaur footprints next to human footprints dating to the same year)

Paul, it is your decision. I can't force you to believe anything, but I hope you will accept Jesus sometime.

YES!!! That is what I've been trying to say for so long, but I couldn't find the words to say it!! I'm not just going to believe something that contradicts everything I've ever believed to appear to be "open minded". Thank you for explaining that to everyone, EmiLoca!

The Baha'ia'i (or however it's spelt) believe in all religions having been formed by the same God but due to cultural differences they just appear different due to centuries of tradition. However, the Christian God (that I am aware of) is the only one claiming to be the creator of all, most other religions came about due to prophets with some nice philosophies on life. Without any tanty-lising comments (the shame) this is why Christians may appear 'intolerant' to others and why some would see Baha'ia'is as more 'open-minded'. Not quite as good a day as Emi.

YWN.... Einstein was a freaking JEW!!! Why else would Mr. Einstein have left a CHRISTIAN Nazi regime. Yes, my friend, the Nazies were indeed Christian. The second most common symbol used by Nazies were crosses.

Keep up these awful parodies and my father will kill himself !!!

MrMacphisto - Yes, Einstein was Jewish. I don't think YWN was trying to pinpoint the religion so much as prove that some scientists supported a strong belief in God. I'm thinking Einstein didn't flee Germany because the Nazi's were Christian, either, because there were tons of resistance-movement Christians in Germany as well. I think he fled to escape persecution, not escape Christianity.

Okay, here is some information on Einstein about religion: http://www.2think.org/einstein.shtml http://www.hi-tech.ournet.md/einstein_religion.html Here is one of the many quotes: "It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it." - Albert Einstein, 1954, from "Albert Einstein: The Human Side", edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffmann, Princeton University Press.

Sorry for stirring up so much confusion with Einstein. I THOUGHT I read he was a Christian in this one book that was giving examples of Christian scientists. Perhaps I was wrong. Anyways, there are Christian scientists out there.

Wait...I'm confused. Isn't Einstein the one who said: "I want to know how God created this world. I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details." Well, whatever. I think we've already established that there are scientists out there who happen to be Christian. Ducking out now.

Here's a quote by Einstein... "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

Great. Back from triangle 7 to square 1.

Erm... well forgive me for being obviously out of date with this thread, but I liked the song, well done :)