My great grand father died this week.
I couldn’t stand him actually nobody could.
But as soon as he passed away everybody went around saying what a top bloke he was, so..
I’d like to dedicate this song to you, Gramps.
He was very hard of hearing,
he was dull and domineering,
mysogenist cantankerous and vain.
He hit the bottle every night,
he hit my grandma out of spite,
and those stories about his bunyons were a pain.
But all that’s now forgotten,
once he took his final breath.
Yes even pricks turn into top blokes after death.
You don’t believe me?
Allow me to furnish you with a few examples..
Steve Irwin lived in khaki,
a cartoon kamikaze,
who taunted crocs and tots so frequently.
And Brocky was some revhead,
who pumped the air with pure lead,
so anti green he drove into a tree.
But all that was forgotten, once they took their final breath.
Yes even tools turn into top blokes after death.
John Lennon chose the hippy life,
he chose some nutbag for a wife,
his songs were never quite as good as Paul’s.
Jeff Buckley fooled all lovers,
just one album, mostly covers,
more wailing than Japan does off our shores.
But all that was forgotten, once he took his final breath,
yes even wankers turn into top blokes after death.
Princess Di was just a sl*t for sex,
when they looked in the car wreck,
her dress was wet with Arab semen *stains*.
Stan Zemanek was a racist jock,
a Fatso xenophobic cock,
whose views were more malignant than his brain.
But all that was forgotten, once he took his final breath,
yes even arseholes turn into top blokes after death.
Don Bradman was a total farce,
a grumpy, greedy tired-arse,
who couldn’t even score one run last time he played.
Kerry Packer was a brothel chief, a tax cheat and a kidney thief.
and procreating Jamie was the worst mistake he made.
But all that was forgotten, once he took his final breath,
yes even **** turn into top blokes after death.
Remember all will be forgotten, once we take our final breath..
yes even pervert motherf**kers,
even rampant child-abusers,
even local Baghdad looters,
even baby bunny rooters,
even reckless drunken drivers,
even rodent sperm imbibers,
even violent poofter bashers,
even public penis flashers,
even rotting corpse molesters,
even human piss ingesters,
even tiny kitten kickers,
even anal finger lickers,
even Anna ‘bloody’ Coren,
yes even she will be a top bloke after death.