Scissors
Cardboard
Paper
Juh-ohn
I mail this one
'Cause you've got delivery

You see me drivin', you'll know me when you see me
I got a big white truck 'cause I'm a FedEx employee
Maybe go to your place and give you some delivery
And possibly have you sign for it
Remember someone had to
Pack that, get a cardboard box
Pack that, tape it so it's locked
Pack that, hey it's full of rocks
Pack that, ooh
Pack that, and pack some more
Pack that, you know what for
Pack that, 'till they got sore
Pack that, ooh

Everything's here, and ready to pack now
Take out the scissors and carry 'em with the edge down
Don't wanna get stabbed, isn't that a fact now
Get out your gift, gonna make sure it gets wrapped now
You cut it, go on and wrap now
Ooh I see it don't go back now
You're ready, hooray, the gift is packed now
Transport? No problem. You got a Cadillac now.

I see you drivin', taking it to the post office
Wanna send it to your cousin, she's named Alice
I know that 'cause you wrote it next to her address
And you know we can read that
Let's see how well you
Pack that, those Christmas gifts
Pack that, from their wish lists
Pack that, just for the kids
Pack that, ooh
Pack that, and I'll deliver
Pack that, take it to your sister
Pack that, she'll thank you mister
Pack that, ooh

Ooh! Looks like another Rottweiler
I better hurry
Looks like I gotta scurry
So fast I'm blurry. They goin' mad
'Cause I'm in shorts, sad, and I look bad
Doberman, Pit Bull, got those teeth
I try to deliver, they want to eat
So they jump up and tear into my cheeks
You can hear me screamin' all the way down the street
But I'll stop at nothing if you don't receive
Get your package, so I can hurry and leave
Even when I do, the dogs will chase
No time to waste, I spray some mace
But the truck seems like a mile away
Or a kilometer, shall I say
We don't use metric, we're American
All hail U.S. Postal Service and the mailmen!
(It's John!)

You see me drivin', sustained injuries from canines
We got FedEx drivers working at all times
Expect your package tomorrow morning at about nine
Unless I'm caught in traffic
Imagine if you didn't
Pack that, or else it breaks
Pack that, don't make mistakes
Pack that, and it'll be great
Pack that, ooh
Pack that, label it fragile
Pack that, and show a smile
Pack that, then wait a while
Pack that, ooh

Wheels turnin', got gasoline burnin'
Look how little money I'm earnin'
Women ignorin'
Me, I be boring
Postal service screwing over me
Sendin' no less than 3
Packages a day for thee
Ma'am, I can tell you pity me, 'cause lately

You see me drivin', a FedEx truck from Eaton Co.
Sure wish I had a Lamborghini Gallardo
Maybe go to my boss and just tell him, "I quit, yo"
And then I'll find a new job
Oh well, someone has to
Pack that, and send it through
Pack that, just for you
Pack that, it's nothing new
Pack that, ooh
Pack that, Happy Holidays
Pack that, only a few more days
Pack that, till you can open it, okay?
Pack that, ooh