Not a cent, not a cent
Not a cent, not a cent
Mmmm

Not a cent, not a cent
All throughout my home you would not find a cent
Empty wallet, that sure sucks
Nought in my pockets, I can't buy cool stuff (cool stuff)
Doesn't help that my tastes are fi-ine
I don't have the scratch for fancy di-inin'
I'm reduced to wearin' bags
I don't have the cash to be poppin' those tags
I don't have credit cards
Even if I did they'd be used
All run out, my spending habits have left me destitute
Sure ain't tightfisted

Sure wish I had money
What I'd get with money
First I'd get a double-decker ham sammich
Then I'd upgrade my internet bandwidth, buddy
And that's a fact 'bout me
I've crap priorities
Wasted all my cash on real pointless bollocks
And that's why even the tiniest choc'late bar is
Quite unaffordable

So you say that I should pawn
My stuff, but I can't just let them go
Yes, I know it's dumb, if my cash is low
But to ask me to sell my antique knife hoa-oard?
That's unthinkable, du-ude
So while you're here, could I bum some cash off of you-ou?
I'll pay you back, plea-ease
'Bout four hund'red bucks is all I nee-eed
Groceries for two months
And a few comic book issues
Must find out what happened in the most recent Doctor Who-o-o-o-o
Show and comic

I've run out of money
I'm all out of money
Promise if you lend me some, I won't spend it
Fine, a bit, but the rest, I'll invest it, buddy
I need some more coffee
And some new DVD's
Love you for all time if you let me borrow
A couple hund'red bucks, cause even half a mint is
Quite unaffordable (unaffordable)

Since I can't afford anythi-ing (unaffordable)
I feel I should do something
Get me a job or two (that's somethi-i-i-ing)
But it's something that I cannot do (just hear me out here)
I can't gain employment, see-ee
Cause the main drawback of me is
I'm just so ungodly lazy-y-y-y-y-y-y

Not a cent, not a cent
Not a cent, not a cent
Mmmm
Not a cent, not a cent
Search my whole damn home, but you won't find a cent
Not a cent, not a cent
Even ev'rything in the One Dollar Store is
Quite unaffordable

I really need money
I badly need money
Should spend it on therapy for my habit
To waste my cash on cool toys and gadgets, buddy
So if you could lend me
A wad or two of green
Pay you back, I swear, so please let me borrow
Just enough cash to buy some shades and restock the fri-idge
Wish I had some money (ba-a-aby-y-y-y-y)
I'm so bad with money (yeah)
I tell you, it really sucks being this skint
Sometimes I wish that I was a skinflint
You must be real sick of me whingin' (whingin' about money)
Know a way to get me to zip it (just lend me some money)
If I'll use it properly, that I don't know
But I know I'm sick of even Tic-Tacs bein'
Quite unaffordable, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh