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Song Parodies -> "Faster, Rudolph! Kill! Kill!"
Original Song Title:
"Clocks"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Coldplay
Parody Song Title:
"Faster, Rudolph! Kill! Kill!"
Parody Written by:
Spaff.com
The Lyrics
[Piano intro]
You know how - Rudolph's story goes
Born with a phos - phorescent nose
Prancer's ho - mies call him names
Torch his ass - in reindeer games
But then
Nick's sleigh - burns out its light
Rudolph's schnoz - is huge that night
Sure it's
Sweet but - do you recall
It's not the way it ends at all
Singin'
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
[More piano]
Here's the verse - kids don't sing
Rudolph's rage - is worsening
Till he
Loads up - on New Year's Eve
And orchestrates - a killing spree
There are
Limbs flayed - and antlers stripped
Like some Tarantino script
Even
Tom Ridge - makes the scene
It's Terror Level Red and Green
Singin'
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
[Even more piano]
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
And nothing decks the halls
Like deer heads on the walls
A tree with sixteen balls
[Again with the piano?!]
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
North - Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal
North - Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal
North (Ru-oo-oo-oo-) Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal (-dolph!)
North (Ru-oo-oo-oo-) Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal (-dolph!)
[Last time with the #$%@ piano]
You know how - Rudolph's story goes
Born with a phos - phorescent nose
Prancer's ho - mies call him names
Torch his ass - in reindeer games
But then
Nick's sleigh - burns out its light
Rudolph's schnoz - is huge that night
Sure it's
Sweet but - do you recall
It's not the way it ends at all
Singin'
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
[More piano]
Here's the verse - kids don't sing
Rudolph's rage - is worsening
Till he
Loads up - on New Year's Eve
And orchestrates - a killing spree
There are
Limbs flayed - and antlers stripped
Like some Tarantino script
Even
Tom Ridge - makes the scene
It's Terror Level Red and Green
Singin'
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
[Even more piano]
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
And nothing decks the halls
Like deer heads on the walls
A tree with sixteen balls
[Again with the piano?!]
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
North - Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal
North - Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal
North (Ru-oo-oo-oo-) Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal (-dolph!)
North (Ru-oo-oo-oo-) Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal (-dolph!)
[Last time with the #$%@ piano]
© 2003+ Spaff.com
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
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| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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My deer belly is jingling! Cheers!
Nice! You finally got a parody to this song, like you wanted, and a darn good job you did too.
Good one. I liked the part where your getting pissed at the piano solo. And you probably have the best rhyming ability on the site. 555.
That'll learn 'em. Great job, Spaff.
I bet more people would know they knew the original if it had a damn chorus or something; this RULES as usual ("terror level red and green"--now where have I seen that before?)
Oh, yeah--great title
Thanks, Peter & Ozzy & the REAL Stockton!
nem: Wow - I'm impressed that you still remember my comment on your "Relativity." How cool of you.
C4P: Thanks x2. I started this in October on a "working vacation" - I even bought another copy of A Rush of Blood to the Head there in hopes of finishing this in time for Elves Gone Wild - but I gave up. Not only is there no chorus, but the meter is different in every frickin' line. (I was able to finish all of one line which, as you know, I used on my site.) But, hey, can you really blame Chris Martin? The choice of writing a chorus vs. nailing Gwyneth is a no-brainer.
nem: Wow - I'm impressed that you still remember my comment on your "Relativity." How cool of you.
C4P: Thanks x2. I started this in October on a "working vacation" - I even bought another copy of A Rush of Blood to the Head there in hopes of finishing this in time for Elves Gone Wild - but I gave up. Not only is there no chorus, but the meter is different in every frickin' line. (I was able to finish all of one line which, as you know, I used on my site.) But, hey, can you really blame Chris Martin? The choice of writing a chorus vs. nailing Gwyneth is a no-brainer.
Love it! Know what I'm gonna be singin this christmas...
The night Rudolph went crazy... perfectly worded stuff here with your trademark wizardry of puns. The 16 balls on the tree had me cacking!
Thanx, Whatsamattau & Ralphing Luke. And I'm sorry I made you cack.
One of the 495845908403489374394334 songs of yours I always loved but never voted/commented on! 555!
Local Celeb: Thank you. I'm not quite that prolific, however. You must be thinking of Malcolm Higgins.
Youre welcome, oh yeah thats right!
Was this gonna be on Elves Gone Wild?
That was the original plan but I didn't finish the lyrics in time.
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