Customers come to buy
Except for one cheap bastard guy
Wake me up when my member spends

When you get a membership
You are not supposed to gyp
Wake me up when that cheapskate spends

Here comes that jerk again
Here to "window" shop
Drives me berserk again
When is he gonna pop?

As he peruses vests
Carefully checks each item cost
Wake me up when my member spends

Bummer for bottom lines
The sales are down, we're in hard times
Wake me up when that loser spends

Bring out the sales team
Pressure him till he shows green
Wake me up when that member spends

Here comes that dope again
Here to "window" shop
Give him more rope again
When is he gonna pop?

Now he's looking around
I hope he's cash register bound
Wake me up if that member spends

Customers come to buy
Except for one cheap bastard guy
Wake me up when my member spends

When you get a membership
You are not supposed to skip
Wake me up when my member spends
Wake me up when my member spends
Wake me up when my member spends