Don’t wanna be a Great British idiot
Don’t wanna be some pasty-faced cricket nut
Drinkin’ tea and then eating their crumpets
Offering cookies saying: “would you like a biscuit?”

The weather’s there is always so awful
And you can’t get a decent breakfast waffle
They eat something that they call weetabix.
This stupid country drives on the left side
And every meal includes something that’s been fried
And the country’s full of ugly chicks

Don’t wanna eat fish and chips in the rain
Don’t wanna go to a Little Chef restaurant chain
UK may have world’s best beer quality
But their bland, boring food just is not for me.

Ok, we both fought in Eye-raq
Left ’em open to all kinds of terrorist attack
But should we show remorse? No way!
Yeah, at least their leaders are literate
But they show less compassion for their children than their pets
And they don’t see sunshine August-May

Don’t wanna be a Great British idiot
Don’t wanna even use the metric system yet
They may be clean, tidy and discreet
But they actually play football with their feet

Yeah, so what if that’s where we came from?
To a land of tomahawks and wigwams, Our
Purple mountains out-do their rolling hills
Yeah, we won our War of Independence,
With a lot of help from their enemy the French,
And we don’t like the British still.