Nobody likes you
Poker gods left you
They're off with all your chips
Having fun

Where have that bad bastard gone
The Z-grade player beat me with 10-high
The dummy failed the stats test
Doubling up in our expense
Is he for real? Is luck on his side?

Where have all the chip stacks gone?
As our reputations get pulverized
Eleven hands without a jack
No pairs or trips, no king-high straight
The dealer really have had quite a few
She's ill

Even though [Phil] Ivey's a perfectionist
He never thought a quad-two beat his triple-six
As the experts leave and cry
I better hope I can flop a five

It's not over till that guy is down
I can save myself with nine-straight
It's daylight robbing
He's such a vermin
I can raise it up as a bait

Then there's so much tape to analyze

Where will this beginner go when the rookie hangs himself?
And what will I do if he takes my bait?

My chip stack's back

He's not the "King of Poker Mania"
Only some good luck got you up the far
I am "The Unabomber", Philly Laak
Who lives in L. Angeles, America

It's not over till that guy is down
I can save myself with queen-straight
It's daylight robbing
He's such a vermin
Let's take him down, it's getting late

Well I have all the chips in place
I'm leaving you behind
Well go all-in, can't take my place
You'll lose, right here, tonight