Wake up in the morning feeling like an old fogey
On my duvet, on my pillow - they're all covered in bogeys
Before I leave, use my sleeve to wipe off my moustache
'Cause when I sleep through the night.. damn! I need a wash

I'm talking chin down to my toes, toes
All over my clothes, clothes
Hanging down from my nose, nose
Snot-dropping, like I've got greensleeves
Wiping up mucoses
Trying to find a clean bit of hanky


Pick snot, roll it up
Wipe my finger on your top
[You] Say "Stop, man- grow up
Like, that's really funny - NOT"
Flick snot take a shot
And you tell me I'm a clot

Eurgh eurgh ew-eurgh
Eurgh eurgh ew-eurgh

Pick snot, make it pop
Pull out finger with a "plop"
Tenth dan's what I am
They call me the bogeyman
Flick snot on the clock
But the mucus don't stop, no


Ain't got a care in world, but got nostrils like bazookas
Ain't firing RPGs, more like flamethrowers of mucus
And now, dudes are ducking down because they see that I'm sprayin'
They know if I get too close, I'll only splash 'em again


I'm talking about everybody going "eww, eww"
Getting covered in goo, goo
(Can you see the Goo Goo Dolls? A few, few)

Now, now you worry that you might drown, drown
Until the nose get blown, blown
Til the nose get blown, blown
(nothing played)
No- nose gets blown... brrrrrrrrrrrr


Pick snot, roll it up
Wipe my finger on your top
[You] Say "Stop, man- grow up
Like, that's really funny - NOT"
Flick snot take a shot
And you tell me I'm a clot

Eurgh eurgh ew-eurgh
Eurgh eurgh ew-eurgh

Pick snot, make it pop
Pull out finger with a "plop"
Tenth dan's what I am
They call me the bogeyman
Flick snot on the clock
But the mucus don't stop, no


PJs all covered up
With greeny gunge
I need a sponge
Yeah, to wash me

To wipe it up
I need a mop
To clean the glop
Yeah, to wash me

PJs, coated with glup
And up and down
And all around
Need a wash, me

Need to clean up
Need to wash up
All this muck.. glup

(spoken)
Everybody clears off when I walk in

Pick snot, roll it up
Wipe my finger on your top
[You] Say "Stop, man- grow up
Like, that's really funny - NOT"
Flick snot take a shot
And you tell me I'm a clot

Eurgh eurgh ew-eurgh
Eurgh eurgh ew-eurgh

Pick snot, make it pop
Pull out finger with a "plop"
Tenth dan's what I am
They call me the bogeyman
Flick snot on the clock
But the mucus don't stop, no