You know that I'm upset
Starbucks barista misheard me
And so she'll write a name that is obviously make-believe
My friends give me a hard time, Calling me that will make me scream
Since they know that it's wrong, They're relentless

I know you know my name
Still it is said maybe once or twice
And by once or twice I mean
Maybe a couple a hundred times
"Hey Swarley!" "Yo Swarley!"
I'm steamed, Oh so steamed, It's now my plight
Swarles Barkley's pissed off since it's so rancid

Yeah
You can stop right now with that "Swarley!"
Cause you know that my first name is Barney! Ohh...
I will flip right out hearing "Swarley!"
Don't you dare call me "Swarley Brown"
Driven insane because of "Swarley!" now
"Oh Swarley" (Stop!)
"Swarley!" (Stop!)
"Swarley!"
You must love watching my face frown
The name I hate is that "Swarley!" now

Pretend that label isn't lame
"The chicks think it's cute"
But I'll blow up just like a ticking bomb when that tag is spewed
I'll go psycho and vent
It's gross, My vote is against this, dude
Sick of flipping the bird when I hear this

Damn!
My nerves all grate now hearing "Swarley!"
Cause I look like a dork when I'm smarmy, Ohh...
I can't score dates with the name "Swarley"
That's the name of some dimwit clown
I'm so enflamed hearing "Swarley" now

Now you got the whole bar to yack that to me (No, no, no)
Call "Robin"/ "Roland" to sound quite corny (quite corny), Ohhh
Doesn't phase her like my name "Swarley"
Everyone in our stinkin' town
Makes me irate using "Swarley" now

"It's Swarley!" (Nope!)
"Swarley!" (Grrr)
"Swarley!"
Embrace my fate and wear that gold crown?
I'll punch each face in the "Swarley" crowd

"That's Swarley!" (Crap!)
"Swarley!" (Argh!)
"Swarley!"
I'm gonna burn that coffee shop down
It's all their fault I'm called "Swarley" now