Don’t need anyone to pull out my chair
Pay my own bills, manage all my own affairs
Without a man, I’ve learned how I can just take care
Of my own
Kitchen re-pairs

Some things most girls depend on their men to do
But I’m alone and somehow I make it through
‘Cause I’ll cut the grass and mend the fence, all be-fore two
Then catch a trout
For my dinner stew


So don't you worry, I’m single and I’m fine
But I’ll confess there are some times
When be-ing me gets hard
Although I try
I’m not so tough
I can’t open jars

Don’t call me needy, it’s one of my pet peeves
Don’t need no one else to take care of me
I’ll change my flat ti-re with a spark-ling smile
And perfect hair
I won’t even whine


So glad my
Male dependence has steadily declined
Self-sufficience is hard to find
And I’ll mulch my own yard
So why can I
Do all this stuff
But not open jars?


And I can carry all these crates; arms are strong and
Don’t like to shovel but I push snow along and
I watch football and never get the rules wrong…do you?


So I’ll grab a stool if I can’t reach
And I’ll kill a spider with no screech
And I can just get rid of a mugger with my nin-ja moves
Without a sword
And I’ll open doors


To ask for rescue from you I’m disinclined
As I defuse this live land-mine
Come on, it’s not that hard

I can’t eat pickles, to that I am resigned
‘til I get hands stronger than mine
‘Cause I can’t open jar-ar-ars
I can’t open jars

I need a guy
The jig is up
To open my jars