Hello Faddah, Darling Faddah
It's your dear son, Elmer Cartah
Please forgive these collect charges
Just got canned down at the dock, unloading barges

Hopped a freighter to Granada,
Now I'm stuck in Nicaragua
Here with no dough in my wallet
Put this hotel number down, so you can call it

Hello Faddah, Happy "Your Day"
Can't send nice card, it's my poor day
This hotel room, my last cent, took
If it won't be too much trouble, please send check book

Love you, Muddah, don't tell Faddah,
But I owe for twenty days at Inn, Ramada
Found this new job - packin' pickles
When I save enough I'll pay back all your nickels

My tears fall for you and Faddah,
In this hot tub at Ramada
Please send moolah, much as you can share
Need some work clothes for new job there..
Debit card - would fill my heart with grateful joys
Then I could play cards with the boys,
Financing me today
Will take my pain away...

Thank you so much, dear sweet muddah
You are parents like no uddah
May you be blessed by the good Lord,
Could you, also, squeeze down payment for a new Ford

Just one more thing, darling fathah
If it isn't too much botha..
Hope you're seated - in your chair, there
Need a favor for friend, Stella...one-way airfare..