I heard the news today, oh joy,
About this chick who couldn't make the grade.
And though the news was rather glad,
What will be the next gaffe?
One more lamebrain from staff?

Dubya has gone back to the bar--
I mean the drinking kind, not lawyers' range.
That's one rumor that's on the air.
He's been shitfaced before. Does he pour again?
It seems that his words are getting slurred more.

Appeared on film today, and boy!
His English more marred than it's been before.
He tried an allusion to say--
Didn't work 'cause the shnook
Never read a book.

He must be turning on.

Coked up, more stoned than Jen.,
Takes the gnome Attorney Gen.
To the bar downstairs and fills two cups;
They tilt 'em up,
He says, "Al, you're just great!

("He-he-he-heck of a job!")

"Missed the boat on Harriet—
Busted by that scary set
Of knee-jerks who think that I'm a dope
'Cause I dashed their hopes by naming a bowling queen."

("Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-eh-heh-heh-. . . .")

Might see in the news, AG boy.
Is Creepy Gonzales the name we'll hear?
This 'hole's stature is rather small. . .
Kiss Ash[croft], no need to crawl.
One 'hole gone, a new one on to further f*ck up Justice halls.

At least the bowler's gone.