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Song Parodies -> "Grow-Hair Man"

Original Song Title:

"Nowhere Man"

Original Performer:

Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Grow-Hair Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

He's a real grow-hair man--
Sprouts like seeds in ploughshare land.
To have it waxed is his plan,
The whole body.

It's pointless, you cannot view
His hirsute back unless you
Use the tools of radiology.

Grow-hair man, he's wishing
For more than split-end fission.
No-hair plan is to be frizz-deficient and get tanned.

His lifeline you cannot see
'Cause his hands are so hairy.
Grow-hair man wants to be a cueball.

Can't dance on pointe 'cause his shoe
Won't pass past pediform 'do.
His feet look like hooves of Lon Chaney.

Grow-hair man, please hurry
Or you'll get more furry
Lose it all so everyone else
Can shake your hand.

He's a real grow-hair man--
Sprouts like seeds in ploughshare land.
To have it waxed is his plan,
The whole body.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

No-Hair Man (aka Tommy Turtle) - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Could GHM perhaps donate his excess to the top of my head?
Fives, by a hair. And, John, so sorry to have confused you with the "John A. Barry" who wrote "Goldfinger", etc., and thanks to "Turtle Tutor" for setting me straight on that.

BTW, is the fact that the NBC tones are "A second inversion, major triad" something that is widely known among other "non-musicians" besides yourself?? (Vast Wasteland I.)
John Barry - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, TT. The line in the poem ended with "Mrs. Equitone," which made me think of the three NBC tones. I went to the piano, started on C, and got C-A-F, which played as a chord go C-F-A, the second inversion of the F-major triad F-A-C. This pattern works in any major key. I know this only because I once took a bonehead music-theory class.
alvin rhodes - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
hooves of lon chaney...lol
MasonR - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I like your ri-bald sense of humor! 555's
John Barry - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL at your comment, Mason, thanks. Would've hoped you'd say "wry-bald."
Larry Hensley - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Very hairy, 555's

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