Whenever I park, in daylight or dark,
All over my car, birds will gather..
They stalk me, I guess,
Results are a mess,
Just like CBS, and Dan Rather..

Wherever I drive, I know...they fly
My wheels are wheels of...appeals..they spy
It's that..car wax,..for which
I must...pay high,
That..they sly
-ly splatter..

Flocked thick more than thin
They're droppin' their sin
And testin' my patience..too far
Each one pops poo..and piddle, too
Leave spots of brown,...white, purple, and blue
They splatter..all over..my car..

This new Ford sedan,
Once used to be tan
It shined like the sky's brightest star
But now, there's blots..of color clash,
It's lookin' like some..rainbow stew hash
Birds splatter..all over..my car..

*********

Wherever I ride, wherever I roll
Some big bird's A-hole..starts to splatter
Wherever I steer, they're sure to be here,
With booties to clear,...cars don't matter

When l cruise my car, there'll be..seagulls
Big fat feathered fannies of seagulls,
I'm nowhere near...a sea,
But the she-gulls,
And he-gulls...all gather..

Flocked thick more than thin
And droppin' their sin
A test of my patience..too far
Each one pops poo..and piddle, too
Leave spots of brown,...white, purple, and blue
They splatter..all over..my car..

This new Ford sedan,
It used to be tan
And shined like the sky's brightest star
But now, there's blots..of color clash,
Been lookin' like some..rainbow stew hash
Birds splatter..all over..my car..

Birds splatter..all over..my car..