How many homes must the old man own?
"Staff will let you know," says the man.
Yes 'n' how many seaside villas? He fails
To grasp extent of his lands.
Yes 'n' how many wives has gramps had in all? Five?
Where to have his one-night stands?
The answer, "my friend," is knowing where you live,
The answer is knowing where you live.

How many wives did the old man shtup
Before a rich one came by?
Yes 'n' how many years on her's he have?
And how many pads did she buy?
Yes 'n' how many checks will it take till he knows--
Is it eight houses? Is it five?
The answer, my friend, is knowing where you live,
The answer is knowing where you live.

"How many, dear?" He'll expound with a quip.
"One in Washington, D.C.?"
Yes 'n' wow! it weren't "dear" that did seep past his lip,
When he called her "c--t."
Yes 'n' how many times must the man turn his head
To ask staff RE: residency?
The answer, my friend, is knowing where you live,
The answer is knowing where you live.