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Song Parodies -> "Robbin' the Salvation Army"
Original Song Title:
"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Brenda Lee
Parody Song Title:
"Robbin' the Salvation Army"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
*The universal symbol of pawnbroking is three gold balls. The Medici families in Italy along with the Lombards in England were moneylenders in Europe. Legend has it that one of the Medicis in the employ of Emperor Charles the Great fought a giant and slew him with three sacks of rocks. The three balls or globes later became part of their family crest, and ultimately, the sign of pawnbroking.
Robbin' the Salvation Army. . .
Jam my hands into the crock.
Mitts on dough, I expunge the money;
The robbed ringer calls the cops.
The bills nestle in my belt;
I'm fleeing--coast is clear,
I am thinkin', but I'm followed
By the ringer, with three hollow
Socks filled with rocks* he whips at me,
Smack me 'side the head--I'm dazed.
But instead of further hittin' me,
He falls to his knees and prays.
[Salvation Army band interlude]
Rock-rapped headache's now splittin' me,
And ears are startin' to ring.
But I'm able to focus my eyes,
And I spy--the guy's got bling.
He is bent in supplication,
Kneeling--doesn't feel
My hand steal into his pocket,
Wrest a small rock out; I'll hock it.
Hockin' gem "found"; at business three
Balls dangle above the shop.
"Cubic zirconia," they tell me,
"For this rock, three--four bucks, tops."
Jam my hands into the crock.
Mitts on dough, I expunge the money;
The robbed ringer calls the cops.
The bills nestle in my belt;
I'm fleeing--coast is clear,
I am thinkin', but I'm followed
By the ringer, with three hollow
Socks filled with rocks* he whips at me,
Smack me 'side the head--I'm dazed.
But instead of further hittin' me,
He falls to his knees and prays.
[Salvation Army band interlude]
Rock-rapped headache's now splittin' me,
And ears are startin' to ring.
But I'm able to focus my eyes,
And I spy--the guy's got bling.
He is bent in supplication,
Kneeling--doesn't feel
My hand steal into his pocket,
Wrest a small rock out; I'll hock it.
Hockin' gem "found"; at business three
Balls dangle above the shop.
"Cubic zirconia," they tell me,
"For this rock, three--four bucks, tops."
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Makin' a withdrawal, instead of deposit, eh...funny..fives
Thanks for the education, now and always, John. Interesting story and parody. 555
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