She was afraid to drink any tap water
In the land called Kingdom of the East.
She was afraid to drink any tap water;
She wanted something that's started with yeast.
Ein, zwei, drei, vier, she says she wants wine, not beer

"I want to iss ein bischen Wiener, Diener, mit ein Glas Gruener Veltliner--
Nothing sweet like Riesling or Tokay.
I'll iss ein bischen Wiener, Diener, mit ein Glas Gruener Veltliner--
So won't you please take that water away?
Zwei, drei, vier. . .the sommelier did hear.

So the sommelier went out to open
A bottle that had been fined and clear.
And after he finished, then he was lopin'
To her table to bring her good cheer.
Zwei, drei, vier. . .fruit forward, rose on the rear.

She said I'll "iss ein bischen Wiener, Diener, mit ein Glas Gruener Veltliner--
This vintage has a floral bouquet.
I'll iss ein bischen Wiener, Diener, mit ein Glas Gruener Veltliner--
Maybe after dessert, some Tokay."
Zwei, drei, vier. . .there's more of this song, I fear.

She's vowed that she'll drink only bottled wasser,
Wine, or maybe a fine local brew,
So plows into a whole case of Goesser,
And the poor little girl's getting stewed.
Zwei, drei, vier. . .she'd forgotten: "Wein auf Bier. . . ."

She says, "I'll spritz ein bischen Wiener, Diener, und mein Glas Gruener Veltliner--
It's a shame that on you I should spray.
I'll spritz ein bischen Wiener, Diener und mein Glas Gruener Veltliner--
A little wasser will wash it away."
Zwei, drei, vier. . .this song's end is very near.

She completes her tummy-washer,
Walks, unsteady, to the door.
She'll no longer be a slosher.
Done! There isn't any more.