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Song Parodies -> "Leech Your Children"

Original Song Title:

"Teach Your Children"

Original Performer:

Crosby, Still & Nash

Parody Song Title:

"Leech Your Children"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Tots when they’re out the fold
Might take a cold, or temp gone too high
Restore them of their health
Just use a fast elixir to try:

Leech your children well
Annelids swell with sanguine sup-ply
Yes bleed them - it redeems
Be holis-tic, and soon they’ll be spry

Don’t you pharmeceuticize
Be so bold - phlebotomize
Be not bookish to be wise
Let flow that blood, do

It’s true, been known for years
Bloodsucking clears what your illness grew by
And though leech-help seems somewhat crude
Don’t be a prude - with barbers* com-ply

Leech your parents well
This feeding’s swell will mals rar-i-fy
Dad bleeds even in dreams
If arthritic, to Mum worms app-ly

If you’re hemophiliac,
Lemme tell you, just step back
You just look at slugs that suck
And know they’d love you...!
* medieval bloodletting was traditionally practiced by barbers, not doctors.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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 5   13
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User Comments

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Stan Hall - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Bloody good parody, mates.
Guy - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Witch doctors do you two see?

Jed - come quick and bring the leeches I think the youngins got the consumption. I wonder if Dracula uses leeches in his antipasto? Nice and original and the use of the 50¢ words makes it ever more hilarious. Well done.
Arwen - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Hee hee...I love the OS, and this made me giggle! Nice work, little Hobbits!
alvin - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
your parody latched onto my brain and the little sucker won't let go...epecially liked "Don’t you pharmeceuticize Be so bold - phlebotomize"
John Barry - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Theodoric of York and I blanched with sanguine laughter.
Agrimorfee - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Leeches suck, but this didn't! Timely, as regards the FDA's recent stance on cold medicine for infants and toddlers. :)
PMS - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
555. This made me laugh out loud. I manage supplies at a large hospital. I once got a call from some plastic surgeon for medical grade leeches on a Sunday morning. I have never stocked them; our Pharmacy dept used to and then stopped. So there I am calling local bait shops... and you can imagine the reactions I got.
unKnownVoter - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
totally halloween driven: also welcomed the addition of the Leeches in the antipasto !!!
mandamoo - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Ha ! Loved the last para in particular ! -even though you left the 'a' out of haemophiliac ;) If not for 'A' heheh... :)
John Jenkins - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
You both must be blood type A positive, because this was an A+ parody!
Johnny D - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Love what you two do with language! 5s
Meriadoc - January 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks so much everyone!

Moo - Pippin put the 'a' in haemophiliac, but the spell checker made me take it out... :-O
Peregrin - January 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Yesss...we shall discuss this later!
stuart mcarthur - January 19, 2008 - Report this comment
after reading this, I'm determined to use a "pharmeceuticize/Karma Sutra-wise" couplet - clever wordplay as usual M and P - 555

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