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Song Parodies -> "Sweet: Got Me New Thumbs"
Original Song Title:
"Suite: Judy Blue Eyes"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Parody Song Title:
"Sweet: Got Me New Thumbs"
Parody Written by:
Paul Robinson
The Lyrics
This is another entry from my Parody Project, "CSN, The Thumb Album", based on all ten songs from their 1st Album release together in 1969. Our protagonist here is an Obsessive Thumb-Sucker...he sucked on his thumbs SO much that he LOST them. I guess that question at hand then would be "Is there 'thumb' way to help this poor fellow". This will be my 4th posting of the project for those keeping score at home. OH...one more thing that I noticed when checking this against the original: When the lyrics move in an upbeat direction in this one I think it's just incredibly FUN to sing this one out loud! I'm talkin' JOYFUL, BIG SMILES, FUN. My other parody of this song had a downer subject and it was fun to sing to a point, but after about 20 times or so it's sorta like work.
(Ins-Thumb-Mental Introduction)
I've gotten to the point where I've no thumbs anymore
I was so dumb
I sucked them both too often; they're no longer round
Turned blue; went numb
What I do when I'm blue is suck on my thumb
Now my thumbs are gone
I know the Doctor said "That's bad, you really ought to stop that."
I could not help it
My caution passed; reminders are of no real use now
No way I could quit
Now I am in a jam, I can't open cans
'Cause I have no thumbs
DOH-OH-OH-OH-OH!
It's really sad that I've lost both my thumbs
Now I grieve; I'm often crying
There really is not that much that I can do
Can't be re-grown; no sense in trying
I'm a dunce, I guess once, had a chance to stop
I was just too dumb
Guess I've no pride, I'd do the same again if I got a new set
It's an obsession
I run amok, then later I feel like an ass
What can I do?
Killed my thumbs, so damn dumb, I feel like a bum
Now I have no thumbs, no, I have no thumbs, I don't have no thumbs, sure ain't got no thumbs
(Ins-thumb-mental break)
Every evening and every afternoon
I used to suck my thumb
Every morning sucked my thumb 'til it turned blue
Now I don't have my thumbs
It's not cool the way it is
I acted like a baby
Sucked my thumbs too much, so now I sit here crying
And now I have got the blues
Avoid my glance, sir
Or I will shy away
I have no thumbs to use
I am now thumb free
That makes me unhappy
Can't thumb my nose at you
(Ins-thumb-mental break)
Got no thumbs to suck on
I don't know what to do
I'm so blue, yes, it's true
Both of my thumbs are long gone
Guess I'll pray that someday
They'll invent replacements
Would be great, I just can't wait
Fresh thumbs for me to suck on!
Yes, someday they'll save me
New thumbs could be sent me
Yes, they'd come, brand new thumbs
They'll be tasty!
(Ins-thumb-mental break)
Yummy, yummy, yum
Now I have got some thumbs
Yummy, yummy , yum
Now I'm not blue
Yummy, yummy, yum
No longer feel that dumb
yummy, yummy, yum
God bless my thumbs!
New thumbs! I'm so happy that they have come (It's great, new thumbs)
They're neat; having them again is a treat (they taste so sweet))
To have fun I will sit and twiddle my thumbs (guitar, I'll strum)
Blackbird pie, I will use my thumbs to pluck plumbs (pluck me some plumbs)
(I don't feel so dumb)
(Since I replaced my thumbs)
(So happy I hum)
(Love my new thumbs)
(Continue those lines while tapping thumbs on drums out to the end)
I've gotten to the point where I've no thumbs anymore
I was so dumb
I sucked them both too often; they're no longer round
Turned blue; went numb
What I do when I'm blue is suck on my thumb
Now my thumbs are gone
I know the Doctor said "That's bad, you really ought to stop that."
I could not help it
My caution passed; reminders are of no real use now
No way I could quit
Now I am in a jam, I can't open cans
'Cause I have no thumbs
DOH-OH-OH-OH-OH!
It's really sad that I've lost both my thumbs
Now I grieve; I'm often crying
There really is not that much that I can do
Can't be re-grown; no sense in trying
I'm a dunce, I guess once, had a chance to stop
I was just too dumb
Guess I've no pride, I'd do the same again if I got a new set
It's an obsession
I run amok, then later I feel like an ass
What can I do?
Killed my thumbs, so damn dumb, I feel like a bum
Now I have no thumbs, no, I have no thumbs, I don't have no thumbs, sure ain't got no thumbs
(Ins-thumb-mental break)
Every evening and every afternoon
I used to suck my thumb
Every morning sucked my thumb 'til it turned blue
Now I don't have my thumbs
It's not cool the way it is
I acted like a baby
Sucked my thumbs too much, so now I sit here crying
And now I have got the blues
Avoid my glance, sir
Or I will shy away
I have no thumbs to use
I am now thumb free
That makes me unhappy
Can't thumb my nose at you
(Ins-thumb-mental break)
Got no thumbs to suck on
I don't know what to do
I'm so blue, yes, it's true
Both of my thumbs are long gone
Guess I'll pray that someday
They'll invent replacements
Would be great, I just can't wait
Fresh thumbs for me to suck on!
Yes, someday they'll save me
New thumbs could be sent me
Yes, they'd come, brand new thumbs
They'll be tasty!
(Ins-thumb-mental break)
Yummy, yummy, yum
Now I have got some thumbs
Yummy, yummy , yum
Now I'm not blue
Yummy, yummy, yum
No longer feel that dumb
yummy, yummy, yum
God bless my thumbs!
New thumbs! I'm so happy that they have come (It's great, new thumbs)
They're neat; having them again is a treat (they taste so sweet))
To have fun I will sit and twiddle my thumbs (guitar, I'll strum)
Blackbird pie, I will use my thumbs to pluck plumbs (pluck me some plumbs)
(I don't feel so dumb)
(Since I replaced my thumbs)
(So happy I hum)
(Love my new thumbs)
(Continue those lines while tapping thumbs on drums out to the end)
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User Comments
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Kind of weird, Paul but good luck.
Rick D - Yeah, kind-of-weird, for sure. Pretty much what I was going for, though.
LOL! Paul, this is the kind of brilliantly ingenious artistic stupidity (stupid in a brilliantly intelligent humorous way) that I LOVE in a parody! 555, HAHAHAHAA!!!
LOL! 555!
Johnny D - Yes, I had to open a new crate of "silly" to have enough to do this one. I'm writing it and thinking of how incredibly silly the thing was. But when I'm playing the CD later and singing back to it I'm cackling! The guy in the ends up to be "one happy thumb-sucker". I hoping the other six songs of this project that I've only done Titles and lyric notes on will come out as whacky and silly. I mean a "Thumb" theme? Hey, they'd better sound serious, ya know?
Oh good, a weird topic! Just what I like! And funny! 5's
Adagio - Thanks. We were just talking about that this morning over on the "Messageboard". As my "CSN, The Thumb Album" project moves forward tomorrow I've got a slight change of pace I'm submitting that I think you will like. At least I think you will IF I managed to draw the picture right. The song itself didn't have enough lyrics so I'm using what I hope is a bit of finesse with the "pre & post" comments sections.
quivering in anticipation for the next installment of "the thumb project"....deliciously weird, paul....i'm diggin' it
Alvin - Thanks, yeah...I'm still quivering from WRITING them. Only a "Maintenance" dose of thumbs parodies tomorrow for "Thumb Parody Addicts" - My take of "Pre-Road Downs".
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