Tiny Rubbers (Tiny Rubbers)
New design (New design)
Just can't stretch 'em (just can't stretch 'em)
Need the large kind (Need the large kind)

Tiny Rubbers (Tiny Rubbers)
Kinda' small all over
Must be made for Mickey Rooney
Never gonna' fit on mine

So much for protected sex
Who's safe from an STD?
One size does not fit all
That's plain to see

So much for the lucky lay
I happened on, today
I might as well
Throw these condoms away..

(2nd Chorus)

Tiny Rubbers, (Tiny Rubbers)
In the box (in the box)
The box they came in (Box they came in)
Don't mean my Fox (don't mean my Fox)

Tiny Rubbers, (Tiny Rubbers)
Just won't fit "Old Rover"
They're so short, I guess I'll have to
Love you with the end of mine..

So much for protected sex
Who's safe from an STD ?
One size will not fit all
That's plain to see..

So much for a lucky lay
I happened on, today
My chance and these
Condoms I'll toss away...