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Song Parodies -> "It's the Gesso"

Original Song Title:

"In the Ghetto"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"It's the Gesso"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

It is snow-white.
To get canvas ready, you must be pourin'
That stuff on or you will be sore.
It's the gesso.
Yeah, you're gonna cry
If you don't put it on, spirits will eat
Right through the canvas, and you'll be beat.
It's the gesso.

Painter, don't you understand,
If it from your canvas is banned,
You will be angry when that fabric starts to fray,
Because turpentine's nasty--
Results will be ghastly
If those min'ral spirits have bled
Into the threads, OK?!

Hellish turp' burns.
You'll be done in after your model's lovely pose
Looks like sails flapping when cold wind blows.
What a mess-o!

As the tyro learns,
The s/he starts to groan as paint eats right
Through s/he squirms and s/he squeals,
Says this term: "What a plight!"
S/he'll depress-o.

Use white stuff for preparation--
You put it on this way:
You ply the brush, reach each part,
Use enough, then the pose can start,
Your model's apprised.

And so now you won't have anger when you span
Canvas with thinning agents. . .comes in a can,
It's the gesso.

An opener pries
Off the lid and out the stuff is pourin'.
Put on one coat, then two, and then one more--
Fix with gesso.
Nix the gesso,
Pix will stress-o.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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alvin - October 07, 2008 - Report this comment
fives ?..gesso

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