They're just his mayor necessities,
Rob Ford, (big bear) necessities
Like little drunken stupors, now and then
I mean the mayor necessities
Good booze and crack for times like these
He's just a normal man like other men..

So, just let him wander, and just let him roam
He's runnin' Toronto, like it's his home
News people buzzin' 'round like bees
Photographers hid'n back of trees
Hopin' for footage, to snag a chance
Of rushin' dance - like there's ants in pants
Or God knows what he'll do..

The mayor necessities - routine, for him - but new
For me and you!

They're just the mayor necessities,
His av'rage mayor necessities
It helps relieve mayorial strain and strife
Why question mayor necessities
Or knockin' ladies, when he flees
It's just those mayor necessities of life

Wobblin' like a seesaw,
Mockin' drunken drivers
Just accept what we saw,
Your mayor, there
Admits he dealt some drugs, broke the law
But that was back then,
Now, It's old coleslaw
Just like bad things we'd tell our paw
While under the wing of our mama's maw
Grams forgive all that you do

The mayor necessities of life are like that, too
It's true, so true

So, hey world, just relax, yeah cool it
Keep your nose in own backyard
His crazy antics can keep us in stitches
We love the way old Rob acts, uh huh
He sure is a card

If, in Canada, he's lost his job
Just send him to us, we'll take Old Rob
Down here eccentric is real essential
To run for office, be presidential
Sounds crazy, but it's true..

Those mayor necessities our politicians do..