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Song Parodies -> "Caries Man"

Original Song Title:

"Carrie Anne"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Hollies

Parody Song Title:

"Caries Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Hey, caries man,
Hey, caries man.

You’re in need of tools to tame your dental
Shame. . .work on the molars to assuage your dolors.
Must drill out the old alloy, fix defects;
You will attractively smile—no mouein’.

Hey, caries man, what’s your shame now?
Repair it with inlays.
Hey, caries man—kill the pain—How?
An anodyne a day.

You’re always something spectral to me,
Quite stripped of dentin, feckless caring.
You’ll lose your choppers as you’re aging,
Watching those champers disappearing.

Hey, caries man, what’s your shame now?
Repair it—no delay.
Hey, caries man—the real pain now:
Despair when bill you pay.

You’re so unlike a wolfman to me
(Unlike a wolfman to me).
Those (those) wolfmen bare real good teeth;
Those wolfmen care for their teeth.

[bridge]

Teeth-pulls rip and hurt,
Worse than drills working.
Now you’ve breached tines, you’re a dentin-leacher.
When the session’s over, you’ll look nifty,
Then you’ll not hear screeching people blurting:

“Hey, caries man, you’re inflamed now
In gums—chops rot away.
Hey, caries man, we’re ashamed now
Of you—off, trot away!

“Caries man,
Care be damned,
Nary fangs,
Scary man. . . !”

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

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LilFlossy - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
SenorMuela, please remember, Sir, to use dental floss ! and avoid L'Meat like the plague, as it sticks to your gums, Sir !
Mark Scotti - January 18, 2011 - Report this comment
That had a lot of 'bite' to it! Fangs for a great parody!

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