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Song Parodies -> "Short Fingers"

Original Song Title:

"Goldfinger"

Original Performer:

John Barry, Anthony Newley

Parody Song Title:

"Short Fingers"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Short Fingers, he’s the man,
the man with the tiny touch,
who's whiny much.
Big support-bringer’s
reckoned “cool” by an alarming margin
with larger fin[gers].

Boorish words he will roar in your ear.
Rub your eyes, ’cause you spy what you fear:
there’s a horrid girl crows for this trickster—
was the kiss of death for Mister Short-Stinter. . .
picked this girl, whose senselessness would abort
his run. . .lettre morte.

Story words he will roar in your ear:
telling lies. . .wins the prize without peer.
There’s a hooded world oafish yet sin’ster
bent to kiss the hem of Mister Short Fingers.
In that world, they settle things out of court,
and sheets aren’t short.

But stubby and short,
very short,
oh so short,
those fingers are short
fat and short.
Very short.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Robert D. Arndt Jr. - March 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Good match-up with the OS- 555!
John Barry - March 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rob, but the idea for this was suggested by a fellow parodist.
Rob Arndt - March 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Good thing the parodist didn't ask you to do "Short Eyes!!!"
Timmy1000 - March 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Sounds like somebody recently joked about by Rubio. Well done. Interesting that it was partly done by John Barry.
Patrick - March 03, 2016 - Report this comment
In the movie, Goldfinger had a certain amount of charm and finesse. But his wealth could only take him so far, then greed proved his undoing. But Goldfinger lusted for gold. The fellow I think you are discussing here is lusting for power. And that is always scary. The second stanza referral to Sarah Palin is very cleverly done. Best word master on AIR these days. I always look forward to your entries.
Phil Alexander - March 04, 2016 - Report this comment
:-)

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