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Song Parodies -> "I Spit Everywhere"

Original Song Title:

"I've Been Everywhere"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash (version)

Parody Song Title:

"I Spit Everywhere"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

I can dampen the eyeball of a squirrel that's thirty paces away
I will project a tongueful half as fast as it takes to say
Never spat at the Olympics, but maybe next year I might
I'm the King Louie of Patooey, never miss a target site
Been practicing my craft, since I was just a tiny tat
They call my lips lethal weapons, when I make saliva splat:

I Spit Everywhere, Man
I Spit Everywhere, Man
Spritzin' here and there, Man
I really sling my share, Man
Where nobody else would dare, Man
I Spit Everywhere..

I zap on'..

June bugs,
Wormy slugs
White rugs
Peckin' roosters..
Fishin' reels
Corvette wheels
High heels
Band boosters
Heavy poles
Light poles
Mice and moles,
Shiny toasters
Door knobs
Shishkabobs
Drunken slobs
Roller coasters
Black ants,
Fire ants
Old maid aunts
Woofers, tweeters
Cycle speeders
Totter teeters
Big mosquitos..

Yes, indeeders..

I Spit Everywhere, Man
I Spit Everywhere, Man
Spritzin' here and there, Man
I really sling my share, Man
Where nobody else would dare, Man
I Spit Everywhere..

I loogie..

Screen doors,
Wood floors,
Wild boars,
Grand pianos..
Banquet rooms,
Ballrooms,
Crane booms,
Fresh bananas..
Toilet seats
Shoeless feet
Centipedes
Mean Piranhas..
Tame ducks
Lame ducks
Hockey pucks
Dalai lamas..
Cobblestones
Royal Thrones
Primal bones
Tennis courts
Airports
Stockade forts
Shipping ports

Ladies shorts..

I Spit Everywhere, Man
I Spit Everywhere, Man
Spritzin' here and there, Man
I really sling my share, Man
Where nobody else would dare, Man
I Spit Everywhere..

I splatter..

Shiny Fords
Billboards
Landlords
Indian teepees..
Rockin' chairs
Grizzy bears
Old gray mares
Tapestries..
Grandstands
Pop cans
Ceiling fans
Stop signs
Cattle backs
Cadillacs
Cinemax
Yellow lines
Angry crows
Buffalos
Cable wires
Airplane flyers
Yugo tires
Forest fires
The town criers

And Sanjaya..

I Spit Everywhere, Man
I Spit Everywhere, Man
Spritzin' here and there, Man
I really sling my share, Man
Where nobody else would dare, Man
I Spit Everywhere..

I've wet on.

Stonehenge
"Niag" Falls
China Walls
Eiffel Tower..
Pyramids
Tetons
Deadwood
Pisa Tower..
Singapore
Rushmore
Taj Mahal
Hanging Gardens..
SeaWorld
The Badlands
Babylon
Arch of Triumph..
DisneyWorld
DisneyLand
"Statch of Lib"
Devil's Tower
Coliseum
Grand Canyon
O'Banion

Where the heck is O'Banion?

I Spit Everywhere, Man
I Spit Everywhere, Man
Spritzin' here and there, Man
I really sling my share, Man
Where nobody else would dare, Man
I Spit Everywhere...

I Spit Everywhere...












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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0
Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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  0
  
 2   0
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  0
  
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
  13
  13
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
ya had me at "king louie of patooey"...slobberin' good
Phil Alexander - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Superb - hard to pick a favourite, but probably "Door knobs/Shishkabobs/Drunken slobs"
AFW - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, al and Phil..appreciate votes and comments
Syncronos - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Sanjaya? Is THAT why his hair stuck up in the air like that? 555s all the way.
JP - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I like it alot. It's even better than than your epic 'I Don't Really Swear' parody, which is saying something! Big 5's.
AFW - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Syncronos, good idea...maybe ya' got something there..................and thanks JP, really appreciate the complimentary comment and vote
Red Ant - July 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for not spitting on red ants, heh heh. Wonderful work here, AFW. I glee(k)fully give you 5s. I'm sure you've heard that term (gleek), but if not: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gleek
2Eagle - July 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Let's climb the church steeple and spit on the people.
Peter Andersson - July 11, 2007 - Report this comment
I bet you don't spit on 5s...
AFW - July 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Red Ant, like that word, "Gleek".....and thanks, 2Eagle..ya' got another title there, "Climb the church and spit on people"....and thanks, Peter, fives are always spit-free..

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