Doctor, I…fear that I'm in need of a different bum
Oh you should see ev'ry time I run
Everything’s just so jigg-le-y
Woah-oh

I cry and moan when my friends all say “Work out!"
It makes me sigh and it makes me pout
Much more sag, and I’ll cover my knees

I've saved for so long
To pay out of pocket
And now I know, from checking the market
From the back I want to look like Jo-lie

Oh, and I ain't saying…I ain't pretty
My boyfriend says that it’s petty
But I catch his eyes wandering
And resting on chicks firm-er than me

So please try…I am pleading
I swear I won’t mind internal bleeding
He’ll love me a lot stronger
When I am a size three

And if you don’t mind
What you suck with a tube
Please place inside my double A boobs
So my boy will want to love only me

Yes, and it’s worth paying…make me “pretty”
So to PRO-pose, he’ll be ready
And kneeling, he’ll whip out that ring
To offer up his future to me

That’s when I…I'll be leaving
‘Cause he’s so dense to sit there believing
That I’d stay any longer
If he can’t love the “real” me