Snarling companion
Has got jaws open and my hand's in,
And he's eagerly champin';
I wish instead I had a cat friend.
Snarling companion,
Two digits I've abandoned
I hope he don’t bite my gland skin
He's got a yen to chew

Snarling companion,
Dentin is real good for manglin'.
Gusto. . .hemoglobin quaffin';
That hand of mine he's just now halvin'.
Snarling companion,
His hellish mouth’s a canine canyon.
He’s clamped onto the legs I stand on,
He crunched 'em both in two

Owwww! My flopping fingers really start to bleed.
Owwww! Mandible-biting down on me ain't what I need.

[jugular band interlude]

Snarling companion,
Has got maw open and my pan's* in.
This breed is built for champin';
I wish instead I had a cat friend,
Snarling companion,
You know, pit bulls should be abandoned;
Lunging attacks—frightful, random.
They've got a yen to chew.


*slang for "face"