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Song Parodies -> "I Stood With Pants Alight (Flight 253)"
Original Song Title:
"I Could Have Danced All Night"
(MP3)Original Performer:
My Fair lady
Parody Song Title:
"I Stood With Pants Alight (Flight 253)"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
The Christmas Underbomber was questioned for only 50 minutes at a hospital while being sedated, then read Miranda Rights upon awakening. Any further information will result from plea bargaining, far too late to warn of any imminent terror attacks. I found that TOS was more adaptable to this story than Sixty Minute Man or Five Minutes More.
Umar: Bled! Red! I couldn't blow them dead!
I meant to light the sky o'er Windsor town! [1]
Weep! Weep! I should have slept tonight
With six dozen virgins, Allah's crown!
I stood with pants alight;
I took that chance, all right,
And still have legs so sore.
I should have shredded wings,
From one small pouch that clings, [2]
And severed one E door. [3]
I'll never know what made it slow igniting;
Why all at once my parts looked bright.
I only know when he tore off my pants to see, [4]
I could have danced, danced, danced in fright!
[50-minute interrogation from 2:15]
Doctor: It's after three now.
Nurse: Don't you agree now?
He ought to be in bed.
Umar: They should have asked, "More flights?"
Before they read my rights;
Now they must beg for more.
I could have fed them things
That early warnings bring
Of clever plans in store.
I'll never know what made them give up asking;
Why call me dunce? I'm smart, shut tight.
I'm lonely, though I see
That Rights Bill grants to me
An equal chance with rants to fight! [5]
I meant to light the sky o'er Windsor town! [1]
Weep! Weep! I should have slept tonight
With six dozen virgins, Allah's crown!
I stood with pants alight;
I took that chance, all right,
And still have legs so sore.
I should have shredded wings,
From one small pouch that clings, [2]
And severed one E door. [3]
I'll never know what made it slow igniting;
Why all at once my parts looked bright.
I only know when he tore off my pants to see, [4]
I could have danced, danced, danced in fright!
[50-minute interrogation from 2:15]
Doctor: It's after three now.
Nurse: Don't you agree now?
He ought to be in bed.
Umar: They should have asked, "More flights?"
Before they read my rights;
Now they must beg for more.
I could have fed them things
That early warnings bring
Of clever plans in store.
I'll never know what made them give up asking;
Why call me dunce? I'm smart, shut tight.
I'm lonely, though I see
That Rights Bill grants to me
An equal chance with rants to fight! [5]
[1] The event occurred over Canada, nearing Windsor, Ontario.
[2] Liquid or gel explosive attached to his undergarment.
[3] Emergency exit; his seat was 19A over the left wing.
[4] The "Flying Dutchman" who leapt across the plane to subdue him.
[5] His criminal trial will give him a propaganda stage.
[2] Liquid or gel explosive attached to his undergarment.
[3] Emergency exit; his seat was 19A over the left wing.
[4] The "Flying Dutchman" who leapt across the plane to subdue him.
[5] His criminal trial will give him a propaganda stage.
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Voting Breakdown
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| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
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| 5 | 7 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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Barry, you're in excellent form. Certainly much better than that hot-pants dude -- not to mention those who are doing their best to let him skate.
Death to the Shaw! (I couldn't resist that one) Worthy of Lerner and Loewe...and BJM as well. ;D
In line 12, I'd change "my parts" to the more specific "thigh parts" and in line 14 "danced, danced, danced" to "glanced askance" to reflect his blank expression and passivity after failing.
Pants burned midflight
He had to let dick, balls hang out
He had to let dick, balls hang out
. . . if your 'conDiction' last more than 4 hours, please call your physician !
Now imagine dancing stark naked with this song at the airport? Ditto to all comments above! I also love how you brought the doctor and nurse in the story. Heck, if this parody of yours was made into a musical, I wondered who would be best to play the scene of Umar from your song. Flying Flight 555 with this one!
ROFL!!!! $555 up in smoke... (and you're absolutely right about the propaganda stage-- why do we play into that little game?)
Thanks to all above for c/v. I originally thought to write "talked all night" but the lyrics morphed elsewhere.
@ CMM: In TOS it's Servant 1 & Servant 2; I skipped Mrs. Pearce & a 3rd cycle.
@ CMM: In TOS it's Servant 1 & Servant 2; I skipped Mrs. Pearce & a 3rd cycle.
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