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Song Parodies -> "Flaking Out is What they Do"
Original Song Title:
"Breaking Up is Hard To Do"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Neil Sedaka
Parody Song Title:
"Flaking Out is What they Do"
Parody Written by:
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson
The Lyrics
Grandpa left this unpublished piece among his effects. So here is a gem to include in this year's hospital staff party....... Health-care professionals who have to inject patients know that the fittest looking specimens, often muscular young men, are the most likely to faint with an injection, particularly if they stare at the needle. This phenomenon is well-known in Nuclear Medicine departments, where an intravenous injection is required before most scans. The injections are not technically challenging, as these out-patients have easy veins to access, but the somewhat unexpected result may disrupt the day’s schedule.
1. To the Slow-ballad Version (Sedaka,1975)
Down there in Nuclear Medicine, we have one big complaint
So, here's a little song about 'The Faint' .....
"We need inject before we scan
And you have got such very big veins, man
Tell me please before I poke,
“You’ve never been a fainting bloke?”
(Sick patients - we get sent a lot
To assess heart disease and bad lung clots
But stretcher-bound in-patients ain’t
The folks who do injection-faints.)
A prior episode they seldom confirm -
Needles make them squeamishly squirm
Seemed fit and hardy before,
But soon as we inject we find them white as sheets slumped on the floor.
If I had known the outcome - that,
I would have laid him down and poked him flat
Guys hush up 'cause they prefer
Cross fingers that it won't recur.
Pulse and heart-rate typically low
Specific feature that you should know
Sinus brady – ECG;
It’s vaso-vagal syncope.
It's vaso-vagal syncope.
2. To the Classic Rock Version (Sedaka,1962)
I beg the staff, don’t get too keen
They don’t need CPR or atropine
Leave their heads down on the floor;
Legs elevate and nothing more.
Blood pressure will come up and they’ll start to come ‘round,
Queeziness means leave left side down.
You can proceed with the test,
But if they ever show again, injecting while they’re supine’s best.
I tell my staff, don’t get too stressed
They need blood-volume transferred to their chest;
Leave their heads down on the floor
Legs elevate and nothing more.
Down doobee do down down, comma comma
Down doobee do down down, comma comma
Down doobee do down down
Flaking out is what they-ey-ey do.
“Sinus brady” is jargon for sinus bradycardia, a slow but regular and innocuous pattern on the electrocardiogram (ECG). CPR is an acronym for cardio-pulmonary resuscitation. Atropine, an injectable medicine to increase heart-rate may be used as part of resuscitation procedures. Syncope (pron. sin'-copy) means a faint. Vaso-vagal, a difficult but commonly-used term, refers to vascular effects (low blood pressure etc.) mediated by the vagus nerve.
Down there in Nuclear Medicine, we have one big complaint
So, here's a little song about 'The Faint' .....
"We need inject before we scan
And you have got such very big veins, man
Tell me please before I poke,
“You’ve never been a fainting bloke?”
(Sick patients - we get sent a lot
To assess heart disease and bad lung clots
But stretcher-bound in-patients ain’t
The folks who do injection-faints.)
A prior episode they seldom confirm -
Needles make them squeamishly squirm
Seemed fit and hardy before,
But soon as we inject we find them white as sheets slumped on the floor.
If I had known the outcome - that,
I would have laid him down and poked him flat
Guys hush up 'cause they prefer
Cross fingers that it won't recur.
Pulse and heart-rate typically low
Specific feature that you should know
Sinus brady – ECG;
It’s vaso-vagal syncope.
It's vaso-vagal syncope.
2. To the Classic Rock Version (Sedaka,1962)
I beg the staff, don’t get too keen
They don’t need CPR or atropine
Leave their heads down on the floor;
Legs elevate and nothing more.
Blood pressure will come up and they’ll start to come ‘round,
Queeziness means leave left side down.
You can proceed with the test,
But if they ever show again, injecting while they’re supine’s best.
I tell my staff, don’t get too stressed
They need blood-volume transferred to their chest;
Leave their heads down on the floor
Legs elevate and nothing more.
Down doobee do down down, comma comma
Down doobee do down down, comma comma
Down doobee do down down
Flaking out is what they-ey-ey do.
“Sinus brady” is jargon for sinus bradycardia, a slow but regular and innocuous pattern on the electrocardiogram (ECG). CPR is an acronym for cardio-pulmonary resuscitation. Atropine, an injectable medicine to increase heart-rate may be used as part of resuscitation procedures. Syncope (pron. sin'-copy) means a faint. Vaso-vagal, a difficult but commonly-used term, refers to vascular effects (low blood pressure etc.) mediated by the vagus nerve.
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Even though I had seen this on your blog, upon reading it on AIR I passed out by the second verse. That's how powerful your parodies are, especially for magnificently built guys like me. 5 reps, three times.
he he
Good thing you don't use a lot of acronyms GCG! 555!!!
I Needle to give this 5's!
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