Song Parodies -> "If I Had a Hummer (song of the Republican Redneck)"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had a Hammer"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"If I Had a Hummer (song of the Republican Redneck)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

If I had a Hummer,
I'd drive it in the morning
I'd drive it in the evening
All over this land
I'd drive over Liberals
I'd drive over the Left Wing
I'd drive all over John F Kerry
A-a-a-ll over this land

If I had a gun
I'd shoot it in the morning
I'd shoot it in the evening
All over this land
I'd shoot all the Liberals
I'd shoot all the left wing
I'd shoot that John F Kerry
A-a-a-ll over this land

If I had a ballot box
I'd rig it in the morning
I'd rig it in the evening
All over this land
I'd rig against Liberals
I'd rig against the left wing
I'd rig against John F Kerry
A-a-a-ll over this land

Now, I've got a Hummer
And I've got a gun
And I've got a ballot box
All over this land
It's my Hummer SUV
It's my M16 assault gun
It's the ballot boxes made by Diebold
A-a-a-ll over this land

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Robert J. Pagliaro - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Oh Phil, you devil. The Reign of terror is almost over - in fact, only EIGHT MORE DAYS. On behalf of the the majority of the Americans who voted for the winner in the last Presidential election, we apologize to the world for the problems that this president (moron) has caused our country and the rest of the world. Save me a room, if they steal it again and there isn't a civil war, I'll have to leave the country. bob

John Barry - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Strong ending with the Diebold line.

Meriadoc - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Hot Damn, Philbo! Boy, that there's some bunch a be-u-ti-fool idears. Whyantcha all come over for some chicken an' grits an he'p me plan it...? ;-)

Phil Alexander - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Thanks...
JB - the two things I do not understand with Diebold are i) given the crap functionality in their software, like the lack of any possible audit trail when it comes to checking votes - why have they been given any contracts whatsoever? and ii) given that their software DOESNT ****ING WORK, how on earth have they been given *more* contracts?
...those questions are rhetorical, I guess: the answer is self-evident :-(

martha - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

fabulous Phil!

Guy - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Phil - I just think it's funny. Here have some fives.

Ingeborg S. Nord�n - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Minor pacing problems, but great imagery that left me chuckling. 4-5-5.

2Eagle - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Have you been to Beautiful Downtown Burbank? It is crawling with hummers. This goes very well with the original song.

Johnny D - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Now THIS is why it's fun to listen to the BBC!

Michael Pacholek - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Wait, I thought only Democrats got hummers... oh, you mean the trucks... oh... Of course, John Kerry would never settle for that sort of thing. This man is a warrior. He'd say, "I'm goin' in!" And Teresa's better-looking than Hillary.

Alpha Skua - April 26, 2023 - Report this comment

And when those annoying Bicycle idiots get in the way in the middle of the Road go right through them like Bowling Pins espcially the ones who swear and give you the finger Boom right through Strike

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