Kippered loxes, once in krill tide,
Kippered loxes make a fishy snacky.
Kippered loxes, kippered loxes,
Kippered loxes taste like game.
When you eat one, you should drink some
Aquavit, the clear or yellow one.
It goes just great with this fishy-snacky
And makes it taste less like game.

It is cheap and nicely douses
The taste, which ain't tuna--worse, salty.
There's a salt mine in those loxes
And they make you want to drain
A whole bottle of aquavit,
Which makes you inebriated
And makes you forget this fishy snacky
Tastes like what your bathtub drains.

Now you're onto second cordials course
And drink your martini dry.
You've forgotten 'bout the kippers
Made from fish that swim in school.
Now they're killin' you, some stomach cramps,
You hope that soon a nurse you'll see.
You suspect it was the loxes
That gave you the stomach pains.

Then you void and you feel dizziness--
Here's Mary from the infirmary,
Who says, "Putz, you ate old loxes,
That's why you have got ptomaine!
If you eat some of this pink chum
Have new one, not antebellum one.
Check sell-by date on this fishy snacky
Or go hook some on the main."