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Song Parodies -> "Don’t Sneeze On The Subway"
Original Song Title:
"Don’t Sleep In The Subway"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Petula Clark
Parody Song Title:
"Don’t Sneeze On The Subway"
Parody Written by:
Merry & Pippin
The Lyrics
You snuffle aloud in the midst of this crowd
Yet, you don’t see what hankie is there for
You hawk out a sneeze, then there’s bogers on me
‘Cause the season has got pollen airborne...
Those protoplasmic missiles aim unsure
Breaks out your snout in sniffley nosely snore
Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
Don't stand and blow out your brains
Got people in subway snarling
The phlegm is long
Project’les hurling by
Coughing’s wrong
Germs woebetide me again
The sudden departs of those secreted darts
Causes spurts when your membrane’s inflam-ed
You don’t heed what’s flew, when you board with that flu
And your histamines have not abated
‘Sundheit means nothing when o’er me, you blow
Olfact’ry nerve, its switch is stuck on go
Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
De-mand that your cold’s restrained
From deep in your airways, darling
Politeness gone
Commit some mucuside
All day long
Now you're achoo-ing again
Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
Nose gland’s just like pouring rain
It really is quite appalling
A blight, so wrong
So let your nose subside
Head on home
Lest you beslime me again...
Yet, you don’t see what hankie is there for
You hawk out a sneeze, then there’s bogers on me
‘Cause the season has got pollen airborne...
Those protoplasmic missiles aim unsure
Breaks out your snout in sniffley nosely snore
Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
Don't stand and blow out your brains
Got people in subway snarling
The phlegm is long
Project’les hurling by
Coughing’s wrong
Germs woebetide me again
The sudden departs of those secreted darts
Causes spurts when your membrane’s inflam-ed
You don’t heed what’s flew, when you board with that flu
And your histamines have not abated
‘Sundheit means nothing when o’er me, you blow
Olfact’ry nerve, its switch is stuck on go
Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
De-mand that your cold’s restrained
From deep in your airways, darling
Politeness gone
Commit some mucuside
All day long
Now you're achoo-ing again
Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
Nose gland’s just like pouring rain
It really is quite appalling
A blight, so wrong
So let your nose subside
Head on home
Lest you beslime me again...
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
This one is not to be sneezed at....I hope...hee hee...great visuals....aaah aaaah..I think.. :P
digustingly though delightfully descriptive
How apt, coming into winter!
As a chronic hayfever sufferer, I so relate to this. Great subs throughout. 555
woebetide you if Petula finds out
I just HATE being beslimed, especially in the subway - it's just not polite at all - great stuff M and P - 555
This must have been a booger to write. Great stuffed...er..stuff
Didn't sing to me. High cringe factor, bad diction.
As soon as I read the brilliant line "those protoplasmic missiles aim unsure" I knew this would be a classic. Incredible wordplay here!
Cringe: Intentional. Diction: "...the articulation of speech regarded from the point of view of its intelligibility to the audience..." Yep. :)
Why is there a triple one vote on here? This parody was NOT off paced. I'd like to kill that Ones Voter; he/she/it/banjo had no business besmirching the ballot box. I liked this one very much so it should get a perfect 5,5,5.
It was me!
The above comment was made by an imposter. If Petula herself were to read this, she might have something to say about it, but I don't think she would put an uncalled-for 1-bomb in the ballot box.
Just order a nice Meatball Sub with sliced olives Cheese and Pickles and don't forget the Cherry Cola
Hi Alpha. Thanks for visiting and commenting. The sub and cheese and pickles might have gone off by now. The cola presumably survives a nuclear war.
Most of the song kinda sucks, but the refrain is beautiful. And ever since I first heard it at the age of ten, Ive struggled with this issue .... If I had gotten into a spat with Petula Clark, what would I do; Sleep on the hard cold surface of a grimy subway station where I would almost certainly, at some point, get brutally assaulted, OR admit I was wrong and climb under the sheets of a warm bed with a beautiful, loving and forgiving girlfriend
Thanks for visiting CML. Yes, you could do a lot worse than Petula. I vote for your second option. Take her Downtown afterwards.
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