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Song Parodies -> "Don't Eat at the Subway"
Original Song Title:
"Don't Sleep in the Subway"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Petula Clark
Parody Song Title:
"Don't Eat at the Subway"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
Alvin Rhodes did a parody with the same title but took a diffferent approach. Tor Johnson, fat wrestler cum actor played by George "The Animal" Steele in "Ed Wood."
Your gut wanders 'round
And becomes much more round,
And you'll grow several sizes. . .44.
You'll waddle gamely.
"I let Jerrod shame me."
So you eat what says this once porky whore.
He showed big pants back from when he was cor-
pulent, a bloated mope who looked like Tor.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
You'll look like a porker, babe.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
That 12-inch long
With mayo on the side
Is all wrong,
'less you're astride me with labes.
You value your heart?
I suggest you be smart.
Or your girth will be greatly inflated.
You'll increase your size,
When you find that your eyes
Are bigger than your tummy—it's sated.
Good bites at this place; you won't find, you know;
It's all pretend, just huckster-sellin' show.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
You'll have to be portaged, babe.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
That stringy thong
Will dig into your sides;
A sarong
You'll need to hide that weight gain.
And becomes much more round,
And you'll grow several sizes. . .44.
You'll waddle gamely.
"I let Jerrod shame me."
So you eat what says this once porky whore.
He showed big pants back from when he was cor-
pulent, a bloated mope who looked like Tor.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
You'll look like a porker, babe.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
That 12-inch long
With mayo on the side
Is all wrong,
'less you're astride me with labes.
You value your heart?
I suggest you be smart.
Or your girth will be greatly inflated.
You'll increase your size,
When you find that your eyes
Are bigger than your tummy—it's sated.
Good bites at this place; you won't find, you know;
It's all pretend, just huckster-sellin' show.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
You'll have to be portaged, babe.
Don't eat at the Subway, darlin',
That stringy thong
Will dig into your sides;
A sarong
You'll need to hide that weight gain.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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Wish I'd thought of this one. Wait a minute, I did, five years ago: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/petulaclark1.shtml. But any swipe at Subway is on the A-OK Train with me. Or, considering my New York roots, the Number 5 Train. (The Lexington Avenue Express.)
Great job, John!
Now, I don't wanna go down to the basement (Ramones) or to the subway!
All 5s.
love it...my wife managed a subway for nearly 10 years...been to tor's grave !
Subway is over-priced and they short you on meat, nice dig into them, not enough people target their over-rated food.
Can't go near Subways, whatever they put in the bread rolls is really on the nose. This parody isn't though, JAB. Good job.
A bun of fun...and I agree about not eating at Subway
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