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Song Parodies -> "Kissed A Toad...Ack!"
Original Song Title:
"Hit The Road Jack"
Original Performer:
Ray Charles
Parody Song Title:
"Kissed A Toad...Ack!"
Parody Written by:
Cat
The Lyrics
Ever wonder what happens to those princesses who DON'T have a Prince Charming? DKTOS?
Kissed a toad...ack! Folks made their wisecracks
And swore “Oh Lord, no prince you’ll score!”
With this toad *smack!*, obtaining a guy’s a chore
(Change, I say!)
Smooched the toad’s back, seemed like the right track...
My lips grew sore, they’ve slime galore!
If this toad lacks, I won’t look for men no more!
I’m just a sad princess in search of a mate
Yet my klutzy date foul-ups only bring me hate
With one, I stained his coat
Another fell into the moat!
So I’ve...got this toad back! It’s bumpy and black
And still I swore to fight this war!
Since an old hag told me toads have magic lore...
(She did say!)
But the toad slacks, it might cough and hack
Yet it ignores what I implore!
Don’t have a knack to find the man I adore!
I’ll climb up in a tower if I’ll gain my shiny knight
(That’s way more work than that skank Snow White!)
Or dragons can capture and torture me
Since there ain’t no pers’nals in 1303!
But since I’m the underdog
I’m stuck here with this blasted frog!
So I’ll...have my toad sacked! Or make him a snack
For carnivores, those boars that roar!
With that wild pack, he’ll turn into blood and gore!
(Tasty prey!)
But my plan’s cracked...I seemed to attract
That toad adores me, it wants more!
Quite a strange track, but I’m not alone no more!
Though he IS a big eyesore...(an ugly beast!)
Oozes and warts galore...(it’s really gross to hold him)
Makin’ me live outdoors! (ouch! The bug bites!)
Doesn’t mind huge downpours! (I hate getting wet...)
Slathers mud on his pores! (THAT won’t make me beautiful!)
And it gets worse--he snores! (Agh, I can’t sleep a wink!)
Fairy tale life’s a BORE!
And swore “Oh Lord, no prince you’ll score!”
With this toad *smack!*, obtaining a guy’s a chore
(Change, I say!)
Smooched the toad’s back, seemed like the right track...
My lips grew sore, they’ve slime galore!
If this toad lacks, I won’t look for men no more!
I’m just a sad princess in search of a mate
Yet my klutzy date foul-ups only bring me hate
With one, I stained his coat
Another fell into the moat!
So I’ve...got this toad back! It’s bumpy and black
And still I swore to fight this war!
Since an old hag told me toads have magic lore...
(She did say!)
But the toad slacks, it might cough and hack
Yet it ignores what I implore!
Don’t have a knack to find the man I adore!
I’ll climb up in a tower if I’ll gain my shiny knight
(That’s way more work than that skank Snow White!)
Or dragons can capture and torture me
Since there ain’t no pers’nals in 1303!
But since I’m the underdog
I’m stuck here with this blasted frog!
So I’ll...have my toad sacked! Or make him a snack
For carnivores, those boars that roar!
With that wild pack, he’ll turn into blood and gore!
(Tasty prey!)
But my plan’s cracked...I seemed to attract
That toad adores me, it wants more!
Quite a strange track, but I’m not alone no more!
Though he IS a big eyesore...(an ugly beast!)
Oozes and warts galore...(it’s really gross to hold him)
Makin’ me live outdoors! (ouch! The bug bites!)
Doesn’t mind huge downpours! (I hate getting wet...)
Slathers mud on his pores! (THAT won’t make me beautiful!)
And it gets worse--he snores! (Agh, I can’t sleep a wink!)
Fairy tale life’s a BORE!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 23 | 23 | 23 |
User Comments
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Sir Laugh-A-Lot has graced this parody with his presence it appears my fair lady.
That was awesome! Title was great too
Ha! excellent, Cat - you had your rhyming hat on and working overtime with this one - some very funny lines - esp. Snow White, and 1303, and the poor dude who fell into the moat - and I loved the wacky line of logic throughout - 555 of course (I feel a bit guilty putting you thru all that though)
Thanks, everyone! (And Stu, more like my rhyming DICTIONARY--I literally couldn't have written this parody without it! =P)
I don't particularly like the OS because it is so repetitive, but this parody is excellent because it is so creatively unrepetitive. TMGLTM, but "snack for carnivores" stood out for me.
You can stain my coat any time you want to... TMGLTM, but esp. loved 'My lips grew sore, they’ve slime galore', and the wide-ranging subs for 'Jack'... Plus what Stu said. Best I've ever read of yours. 555+, and there's a belated reply to your last post at your tribute, 'Itty Bitty...' http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/thurstonharris0.shtml
Love it
my favorite of the day...quite clever
Very cute Cat. . .I hadn't read anything new by you in awhile, so this was quite a way to open things back up!
All right, everyone who hasn't voted yet: Hop to it and give this one a five! But considering the "princess" and "meeting guys" themes, I'm wondering if you didn't steal some of Arwen's material.
Cute... 5-5-5
Very funny stuff here with great grubstitutions!
(SOTM) Thanks for the mp3 link...it was hard to sing this without a backup due to the unusual accents the vocalists give in the chorus...another phreaky phable. Nice stuff, Cat.
You frenched it up?
Far, far away better than my own take on the subject, but I'll let that be my comment anyway:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/u247.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/u247.shtml
I thought I was,
Toad-lickin' lyric's Sir,
But I've just handed my
Skin-crawl crown to HER!
Toad-lickin' lyric's Sir,
But I've just handed my
Skin-crawl crown to HER!
(SOTM) Why is it that fairy tale princesses always get the short end of the stick? Brilliant job (again) Cat!
Clever. Definitely clever. However, having a rhyme scheme considerably more complicated than that of the original would probably make it much harder to follow as a recording than it should be. It's still very good, but I think this shows that there can be a such thing as too much internal rhyming.
(SOTM) Excellent!
Superb... I started one to this tune about psychedelic frogs: lick the toad's back... never finished it, though.
Thought I had commented on this already... I know I read it. This doesn't rhyme just for rhyme's sake, but manages to stay coherent and funny with its near rap-pish rhyming. It wouldn't be that hard to follow as a recording, but recording it (or doing it live) is another matter...
(SOTM) As I stated earlier, very cute---while trying to test run this I had a few pacing spots I found, but all and all very good.
SOTM - Wow. Nicely written.
(SOTM) still very fond of this one, cat (partly I suppose due to my minor involvement) and "That’s way more work than that skank Snow White!" is one of the funniest lines I've read - 555
(SOTM) Most impressive rhyming and humorising, young prodigy! A fairytale of fun. 555
SOTM- You definitely didn't 'croak' on this parody, Cat. Great job with the rhyming too.555
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