Dang, son, y'all 're trollin' fer fahves here. Yer gettin' 'em, too.

This is the first parody of April 2006 that comes across my screen, and I can already tell it has SOTM medal potential! Follow ups are usally risky, but this is a worthy one to Sixteens Sons! No April Fools joke I swear. All 5s! :-)

Welcome back, Dee. Fabulous return. 555

"But she's all right now...except for that rash" LOL! (TMGLTM-SIOMO)Great title and substitutions throughout, and what a way to start the month! Indeed, welcome back and fabulous return. 5s

LOL! My favorite of the day... 5-5-5

Great one! Too many good substutions to mention! 5's

I loved the Talking Bass.... I reckon I need one of dem to make my trailer seem more like'a home.... 5-5-5

Brilliant! Best I've read today 555

Michael, Peter, John, Red Ant, Mr McPhisto, Adagio, Mathias, and LucidLupin, many thanks for the kind words and votes...they are always appreciated.

a PERFECT cameo, Dee, as you drop in to deliver another polished gem and then dash off again - or are you going to stay around?? - 555

Stu, my oldest sister, who I share a house with, and is also my best friend, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 3 months ago. I am her primary caregiver, and have been way too busy, and worried, to write much. The cancer has metastasized to her liver and gallbladder and the prognosis is grim, but she is battling on like the trouper she is. I doubt I will have much time to write until this is resolved one way or another, but miracles happen and I'm praying for the best. Between hospital stays, chemo, and doctor's visits we have just been too busy for much of anything else. Now relatives are flocking in from all over and this might be my last post for quite another while...I just have no way of knowing. Glad you liked this one...keep in touch.

If laughter is the best medicine, then she's got a very good pharmacist.

A great write, Dee..flowing with fresh and fitting lines and ideas, like, 'back fir'n Chevrolet'...and..'a bedspread wedding gown'..all the best to you and your sister..

That's bad news Dee - sorry to hear it - you've had a tough twelve months by the sounds - hopefully you can get some time to yourself to do some more writing because it's obviously a pleasure for you - good luck, and ditto what Michael said :-)

Michael, AFW, and Stu, thanks for your concernful comments. My sister has always been my biggest fan, and she is taking this, and holding up, much better than I am. I wrote this at her doctor's office Friday at her suggestion, while waiting to drive her home from another in the never-ending tests she undergoes. She kept urging me to get back writing, I could never get in the mood, but finally thought maybe giving her a laugh would be the best thing I could do for her at this point in time. I know millions of people are going through the same thing everyday, but it doesn't make it any easier to take. Thanks again for your concern.

No, Dee...it doesn't make it any easier, either for the patient or for the loving caregiver. My prayers are with you and your sister always.

Giving her a laugh is one of the best medicines there is.

Adagio, thanks so much.

Ah know a good parody when Ah see one. We're all here for you through this tough time.

Dee, I had wondered what happened to you. My thoughts and prayers go out to both Patty and you. May you both find the strength to fight this and to win. Laughter is the best medicine and, you are an endless source of humor. This is a true Dee Range masterpiece. 555 :-)

beautifully done....my prayers go out to you both

This is Dee's sister, and I wanted to thank him, and all of you who have commented on my situation. I'm doing as well as can be expected, considering, and your support, concern, and prayers is more than anyone could ask. Bless you all.

Larry Hensley, Rick C., and Alvin, Patty and I thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We both appreciate the support from the great people on this site.

Parody sounds as though you've been there, done that.... "gash" lol... 555

Try alternatives: Clinics in Tijuana, MX , e.g. American Biologics; read "Recalled by Life" by Anthony Satillaro, M.D. - terminal metastasized pancreatic cancer reversed by diet etc., lived another seven years... I have met persons who have halted/reversed worse things, e.g. woman with brain tumor, given a few weeks/months; five years later, tumor hasn't grown a bit; another (in 30's) metastasized breast cancer, weighed about 80 lbs (37kg) and had to be air ambulanced 'cause too weak to walk/drive/fly commercial; from both disease and chemo/radiation; told to go home and die in a few days/weeks; after a week or two A. B. clinic, was up and about, walking arounde with a walker, eating, on the way back. ht**tp://www.cancure.org/american_biologic.htm

"Where there's life, there's hope", or, as Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over until it's over", and that's no joke. For the value of laughter as adjunctive therapy, see Norman Cousins, "Anatomy of an Illness (As Perceived by the Patient) ", at, e.g. ht**tp://mchip00.nyu.edu/lit-med/lit-med-db/webdocs/webdescrips/cousins17­00-des-.html.

Hope your next news to us is good. - TT

Tommy Turtle, thanks for all the input. Today I ordered "Recalled By Life" on the web and told my sister about macrobiotic dieting to cleanse her system. She is going to ask her doctor about it. Her last bloodwork showed a white cell count that is too low to continue chemo, so we're going to be looking into alternative therapies soon, while there is still time left for something to work. She has heard me quote the same Yogi Berra line to her, and the last thing she will do is give up....she has a lot of fight in her, and will not quit. God bless.

Her (conventional) doctor will probably scoff, but if (s)he is honest, Doc will admit that it can't hurt. We Turtles don't get cancer, 'cause we eat seaweed instead of the chemicalized crap that humans eat, but the person who transcribes for me (It's hard to type with flippers) visited someone in that clinic in Tijuana and met the people mentioned above; and the person visited, who statistics said had a 30% chance of surviving five years, is kickin' pretty well now, ten or fifteen years later.
btw, that visit was the source of the knowledge of TJ that inspired "Tijuana, Know A Secret", although the intro comment there rings better for comedy. http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles1406.shtml

We shall send our thoughts, prayers, wishes, and healing energies to Patty Barker. Let me know if there is anything else we can do. It shall all be well.

Dee, would you or your sister be offended if I were to post a song of encouragement to you both? Will look here for reply, or at any post of mine.

I'll be sure to read it to her, Tommy. She is familiar with many of the authors here, and enjoys their work. Her sense of humor is marvelous, and I'm sure she would appreciate it.

Done. Two should post Thur. 6 Apr.

This could be my life story! You must live in the same trailer park I do.

Dee, you are one twisted guy! This is my favorite song of yours, so far. Paints quite a picture and is just a lot of fun to sing in my little pointed head. Keep on truckin' and am sending all my positive energy to your sister. You are a good brother.

Thanks Deb 'stonecat'.I missed you at MacHenry's open mic Wednesday. I played this one, along with several other new ones you haven't heard. You ought to visit Amiright more often...there are many brilliant parodists here that you will love if you have the time to explore the sight more often.