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Song Parodies -> "Abstinence-Only"

Original Song Title:

"Only the Lonely"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Roy Orbison

Parody Song Title:

"Abstinence-Only"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Hump-hump-hump-hump. . .cream ova,
No-no-no education,
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh!
Abstinence-only.

Abstinence-only,
Numb-numb-numb-numb-numb numbskulls.
Fantasy of the far right,
Ne-Ne-Ne Neanderthals.
Abstinence-only,
Dumb, dumb sans education,
Didn't work too well that night,
No-no-no-no-no-no-no.

She'll have a baby.
If they were smart,
He'd wear a membrane
When her thighs part.

To abstinence-only,
They cry:
"Bye-bye,
Abstinence-only."

Hump-hump-hump-hump. . .cream ova,
No-no-no education,
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-d'oh!
Abstinence-only.

Abstinence-only
Sounds good, you're 72.
Abstinence-only
Adolescents will eschew.

Male bathes that furrow
During romance.
Did that stop her? No!
So, that's the chance you gotta take
With un-Trojaned hard snake.

Abstinence-only:
Dumb-dumb-dumb: 17, ma.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Johnny D - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Abstinence only leaves lonely the bonely.
alvin - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
especially like what ya did with the background vocals
UnKnownVO - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Snakes Alive !!
John Barry - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD, Alvin, UKV (love your comment, as always)
Below Average Dave - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
OH THE HORROR. . .NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . .Thank goodness this is only a parody, I couldn't live by that rule. . .whew.
AFW - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
I see you're hitting the right from all angles...well deserved
Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Sounds like you're stealing Johnny D's material. Unfortunately for the Paleo Palins, you do it very well. Apparently, they don't "do it" very well.

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