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Song Parodies -> "I Got -a Rocks"

Original Song Title:

"I am a Rock"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"I Got -a Rocks"

Parody Written by:

2Eagle

The Lyrics

To be sung by an operatic baritone - not Rosemary Clooney
Hey, little boy
I'm -a the Great Pumpkin
You in -a my patch
Hiding in -a pumpkins, lotsa you don' know
Is -a very special kinds of "ice" and -a "snow".
I got -a rocks
I got -a diamonds!

(mandolin music)

I got -a loot
But not -a for trick or treating
I got better things -a to do
Don't need - a no crummy candy - that just make -a you fat
I know where the action - a really at.
I got -a rocks
I got -a diamonds!

They knock on -a doors
Dressed in -a crummy costumes
The cheapskates give -a them hard candy
You come on -a my house, give -a me you dough
Tell -a where the silverware is -a stowed.
I got -a rocks
I got -a diamonds!

I hide -a my rocks
In -a the Jack o Lanterns
I give -a you more than candy
If -a you be a dear and get outta here
But you touch -a my stuff and I break -a you face!
I got -a rocks
I got -a diamonds!

Now be a good -a boy
And keep - a you mouth shut.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

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alvin - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
wonderfully bizarre concept...i dug it
Guy - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Azza dey say inna da old a country dis is da "pasta e fagioli:". It-a also gotta "polenta' of a good a lines. I'm a like! Dis a be molto bene. Esp. liked the "break a you face" ref. Classic hot head Italian. Cinque punti. Grazie e ciao.
2Eagle - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin and Guy. In Burbank you hear a lot of Italian accents. Now I'm not making this up,but I think I read this The Reader's Digest. In Daly City, CA somebody saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, "You touch -a my car - I break -a you face!". Inside the car were two nuns in full habit.
Stan Hall - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Eh! Oh! Oh! Eh! Issa very funny, dis, bud I t'ink mebbe it dissa me, eh? Ass' OK .. I'm-a like it still, so 'eersa buncha fifes f' you. :-)

Re that "You touch-a my car ..." bumper sticker -- my favorite Otalian deli here -- where I go to practice my real (not gangster-speak) Italian offers a whole range of "You touch-a my ..." stickers and other merchandise. Funny, as ancient old "Mamma" is deathly serious about two things: her Italian-ness and her Catholicism. Go in there on a thundery-lightningy day and you're likely to get sprinkled with holy water. :-)
Guy - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey 2 - those nuns got some nasty habits. I grew up in a town in an eastern state where the generation of my parents' parents were all from somewhere in Europe. The street I lived on was 100% Italian. English was not spoken very much on that street by the old timers. My grandmother lived about 5 houses away and spoke to me from the time I was born until around the age of 5 years when she passed away and I cannot ever remember her speaking any English to me so accents?

I grew up hearing almost every European accent you can think of from Italian to Czech to Polish to Russian to Croatian to Hungarian to you name it - they came from anywhere that had hard times to make a better life for themselves and their children in the US. And what Stan says and he has told me in emails about that Italian lady that ran that store - she would dump holy water on me at about 212 degrees if she ever saw my "Nuns'll Getcha" and "Unda Da See" parodies. So maka all a da fun a you wan about a the Italians - I no break-a you face for it because I maka fun of a dem too.
DiamondDiva~MM~ - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey there, Mr Trafficante, I agree that diamonds are indeed a "Girl's Best Friend", sir ! ~MM
CowPattyHearst - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Mamma mia! Mangia, mangia.
Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
HEY-E, OVAH 'EAH, HUH? Youz makin wit da funease aboud breakin facez? I busticated a guyz faze so bad wuntz dat he cudent eeven ged metical atenshun. I hid em so hawd dat he stahved ta deadth rollin'. Da ambewlance hadta git filt up tree timez wid gast jus chasin afder em. Da metical examinder lisded da cawse a deadth az stahvashun. Bud serisly - youz gotz owah innerst peek-ed wit da rockz an da dimends. I wud like ta set up a "take a walk" wit my secatarie ov da fence, Louie "Da Bag" DiGriese-Palma fowah peece a da akshun. Hez gonna discust wut "points" wez needz on da "swag" - so youz gotz dat 2-boid? Wez iz makin an offah dat youze cand refuge. Expekt a visid frum owah esteamed associade in da neah fudure. 2-LOUD OUTTA 'EAH!
AFW - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
An Italian Peanuts, now there's an idea...fun stuff
Diva~MM~ - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . . . Square cut or Pear shaped, these 'rocks' won't lose their shape! Diamonds are a girl's Best Friend, yeah, I don't mean rhineStones! !
2Eagle - November 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stan, Guy, DD, CPH, CB, AFW and Diva. It is not that Peanuts is Italian here. I got the idea from an old Stan Freberg record entitled Nuttin' for Christmas about a boy who wasn't getting any presents because he had been naughty all year. At the end a burglar breaks into the house and he thinks it's Santa.
Melanie Lee - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
I missed this one, among the great run of "I Am a Rock" Halloween parodies of November 2008. I find this one weird. Maybe I'll come back and rate it later? Is there some connection between pumpkins and The Godfather that I don't know about? Oh, I see 2Eagle's explanation just above. Hmm...

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