Oh, the streets of old Atlantic City
board-game names, that town does bear.
You can almost think that you're sitting pretty
'til you land on Boardwalk and see a hotel's there.

Gotta face all that hotel's gloom
and I watch my bankroll, it's now gonna decrease.
Two hundred bucks will soon be with me
when I move my master piece.

Oh, the cash I spent on St. Charles Place houses
now seem to be a waste of time.
Mighty kings of the board, well, I can see they're a bunch of louses.
And landing on that corner seems to be a crime.

Three straight rolls gets you in jail if they're all doubles
and every time I roll, I feel like I'm chasing wild geese.
Someday, I'll be taking in rent money
when I move my master piece.

Sail around the board with a terrier Scottie.
Oh, to have the race car to attract some hottie.

Well, I left jail, and I landed on railroad.
The Reading out of Philly, where they booed me and I almost cried.
Crooked banker screwin' me, he can kiss my tail load.
Some guy offered me Marvin Gardens? He must be fried.

Chance card left me feeling dandy.
Got past the spaces where I'd face fleece.
Someday, Monopoly I'll be winning
when I move my master piece.

Someday, Monopoly I'll be winning
when I move my master piece.