He used to tell himself little jokes, all on his own now
(all on his own now, all on his own now)
What started off little, it really has grown now
(make you groan now, make you groan now)
He's got a bass voice so you know he's gonna lower the tone now
(lower the tone now, lower the tone now)
'Cause he'll make puns puns puns till they strap him down and take him away

He used to practice telling his jokes, in the mirror nightly
(doing it nightly, doing it nightly)
Used to do it in the dark, to prove he's not taking it lightly
(taking it lightly, taking it lightly)
He's the only kid at school whose hero is Richard Whiteley
(Richard Whiteley? not bloody likely)
'Cause he'll make puns puns puns till they strap him down and take him away


Now he's 50% towards his being a wit now
(he's a half-wit now, he's a half-wit now)
He's embarrassing with girls, saying things like "I feel a right tit now"
(feels a tit now, feeling a tit now)
He should have known by now that ain't no way to make a hit now
(he's being hit now, he's being hit now)
'Cause he will pun pun pun till they strap him down and take him away

He will dissolve a tooth then say he's got a molar solution
(molar solution, molar solution)
Rigged up 240 volts to give a shocking lesson in elocution
(elocution - electrocution?)
And he'll never get married - doesn't want to live in an institution
(an institution, an institution)
'Cause he will pun pun pun till they strap him down and take him away