Song Parodies -> "The Bad Habits Of Yours Truly"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of John and Yoko"

Original Performer:

"The Bad Habits Of Yours Truly"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Standing in the dock at Southampton,
Picking bits of snot from my nose
If they're gooey and thick,
Then I give 'em a flick
Your honour - look there's some on your clothes

Christ! I know it's not PC
Spitting on all that I see
My habits are growing
I do them subconsciously

Put my wimple into a hot wash
When the cycle fin'ly had spun
Black and white were OK
But now since it's gone grey
I'm very poorly dressed as a nun

Christ! You know that was cheesy
You know I'm far from "tee hee"
If I keep on jokin'
They're gonna crucify me.

Watchin' Paris "Thank you ma'am" Hilton
Video is set to repeat
The barrister said,
"What were you doing in bed?"
I said, "It's habit-forming beating your meat".

Christ! You know that she's sleazy
You know how hard it can be.
Got me comin' and goin'
T'was all done habitually

Biting all my fingernails till they're gone
Sucking all the other peoples' thumbs
I hope you don't mind
Because my teeth grind
I'm always checking boogers
From my no-ose... ick!

Colouring my toenails with henna
Chomping chocolate cake from the bag
Eating navel fluff
And earwax and stuff
And making everybody else gag

Christ you know it ain't tasty,
Ingesting li'l bits of me-hee
But all these bits I'm chewing
At least this habit is free

Caught me on the plane back to London.
Trying hard to cover my cock
They said "Ain't you heard?
Can't come with your bird"
I guess that's why I'm here in the dock

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
Trying to smuggle poultry
The way it was crowing
I ain't surprised they caught me
Said my habits are growing
Excru-shee-yate-tingle-ly

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User Comments

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Agrimorfee - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

Phil, it's too early to tell but you may have stolen this round of the Decathlon. (security code: BLA)

Matthias - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

I agree with Aggy, this is going to be a hard one to beat...

Jack Wilson - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

Ditto the first two comments.5s

Rick C - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

Nice ! :-)

alvin - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

disgustingly funny

Kristof Robertson - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

Bugger...I'll have to come up with a right corker to compete with this beauty. An all-rounder of disgusting-ness. Yay!!! 555+

John Barry - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

One of my favorite picks.

Phil Alexander - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment

I figured that if I got whole loads of bad habits out into the open, then anybody else's take on this is gonna look like copying ;-)
Kristof - you don't *have* to ;-)
JB - No, it's snot {badoom tish!}

MrMacphisto - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment

habit forming... 5-5-5

Matthias - December 13, 2007 - Report this comment

Still as good ten days later. This could be the theme song to the Pixar character Shrek.

bobpiecheese - December 14, 2007 - Report this comment

(Dec 2.0) The sheer amazingness of this parody has left me unable to think of a witty comment, so I'll just flick 555 boogers at you.

stuart mcarthur - January 01, 2008 - Report this comment

(dec2.6) not the parody to be reading over breakfast - some beautifully disgusting grabs here Phil - the best aspect of this was your clever set-ups for your gags, most of which were nod-to-the-reader aware, which I love - but what I loved most was that last word! - very entertaining - 555

Kristof Robertson - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment

(DEC 2.6) This is pretty classy for a parody on filthy habits. Masterful stuff, Phil

Arwen - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment

Decathlon...oh my heavens, Phil. I feel a little itchy and gross after reading this...was that intended? ; ) Excellent job...and a favorite OS!

Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment

(DEC2) "Trying hard to cover my c***" . . .alrighty then. . .It was very funny, randomly so. I actually got sent all different directions listening to the OS and following along. . . .one thing I wish to point out for you Phil, sucking on people's thumbs isn't a bad habit, it's a fetish. . .very well written and formatted for a performance.

Jeff Reuben - January 02, 2008 - Report this comment

Very fun to read, had me laughing lots of times.

Jack Wilson - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment

See above! 5s

Mikey Squirrel - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment

DEC- Wow, that was disgustingly funny. My kinda humor. Very well done, phil.

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