Song Parodies -> "Limping On A Bad Bunion"

Original Song Title:

"Glass Onion"

Original Performer:

"Limping On A Bad Bunion"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Here I was ready to go to bed and suddenly I get an idea for a parody...no sleep possible for this loony parody writer until I got up and cranked it out...'twas a story that had to be "Toe-ld"...

I'm limping, I don't like how it feels
I must put all my weight on my heels
I've got this pain right down in my toe
It's painful; quite so

Gimpy; feels like I've got some bone chips
In great pain; my mood is real grim
Limping on a bad bunion

The Doctor gave me pills for my pain, man
This bunion hurts much worse than a sprain can
Now I can't wear a shoe 'cause it hurts
The pain just gets worse

Standing on it just makes it sore, yeah
Maybe lay down and try to get off my feet, yeah
Limping on that bad bunion

Egad, so sad, hurts; bad
Bunion makes me sad; no fun

Now I must take these cortisone pills
It helps my toe but stomach feels ill
I'm looking for some place I can heave
need some relief

Big toe is so very swollen
Sighing 'cause of that ache in my feet, yeah
Suffering from that bad bunion...

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Johnny D - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Man, Paul, you're fast becoming our resident master of the "medical angst" parody genre!

Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Guess it's the "Consolation Prize" for being older than most of the other folks on the site, JD. Never had bunions but have had a couple bouts of the gout in the past. Thanks.

Johnny D - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Now there's a coincidence....Rick Duncan has/had gout, too, if I remember correctly. I thought gout was relatively rare, yet easily treated with modern medications...?

Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

JD, I don't think it's all that rare, and your impression about the "modern medicines" is correct...except that with gout you have to go through the agonizing FIRST attack of it before the you know you have it. THEN the Doctor prescribes the anti-inflammatory. I have the pills but only take them when I notice an initial sympton and that serves to dispense with the problem. That FIRST time...Whoa, Boy...you think your damn toe is broken!

Rick D - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Alas, the main way to control it is DIET. There are some things I just love that I can't eat now. Feets don't ail me now.

Adagio - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Good one, Paul. 5's

John Barry - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Damn! I've got one called simply "Bad Bunion." Same title, but the approach is different. I'll submit it for posting tomorrow. Nice job.

MasonR - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

This was a magnificent feet!

alvin rhodes - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

great concept and execution...fives

Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Exactamente, Rick! Yup, cut down on meats, especially pork, reduce or quit booze, shellfish , and even a few veggies and other stuff you wouldn't think would cause any problem. Adagio, thanks! JB - I'm sure you won't be stepping on my toes with whatever your approach is. MasonR & alvin - thanks, too...

Johnny D - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

How would a nice surf-'n-turf with filet mignon, roasted pork, baked stuffed shrimp, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, and lots of RHUBARB do?

Paul Robinson - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment

About like a tractor-trailer running over my big toe and then backing up to run over it again in that direction.

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