-> "Sympathy for Santa"
Original Song Title:
"Sympathy for the Devil"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Sympathy for Santa"
The Lyrics
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I'm a man of belted waist--
I've been around for long, long years,
I've grabbed from many a man's cookie tray
I look around and, Jesus Christ!
Have you gift-givers gone insane???
I'd much prefer that Target
Peddled stuff that's less inane!
Pleased to greet you,
Happy Holiday!
But what's troublin', true, is the
Lame stuff all you gave!
I've hung around St. Petersburg
Because Florida's nice for a change!
Had Dasher, Donder and Blitzen, first
Order drinks, then
Keep to shade!
My driving stank, ended up in the tank,
In the Escalade was a bawdy skank!
Pleased to greet you,
Happy Holidays!
But what's troublin' PETA's the
Reindeer are my slaves!
I watched with glee while your twins and teens
Fought for videogames
Or the Elmo craze!
I shouted out "Who's filled these hosieries?",
When after all, it was Dollar Tree!
Though chimneys squeeze, when I sluice myself,
I am a man of stealth and grace,
And I take crap from humidors,
Smoke two Cubans 'fore I reach fireplace!
Pleased to greet you,
Happy Holidays!
But what sucks, in truth is com-
Mercials robbed my name!
(Glockenspiel solo, elves on maracas singing "hoo-hoo!")
Pleased to greet you,
Happy Holidays!
But go on snugglin', snooze, just for
Clement Clarke Moore's sake!
So stop giving crap! It's just criminal,
Gives cause to cringe and faint!
If memory fails, just call me Nicholas,
Originated as a saint!
If I discreetly chug well-earned whiskey,
Have some sympathy, don't complain!
These malls are hell, slurred groggyness
Might betray my
Swollen face!
Pleased to greet you,
Happy Holidays!
Butt-munch, chuggin' juice is the
Savior of my day!
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.7 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.8 | |
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Total Votes: | 16 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | | 15 | |
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