Living with Charlie he just couldn't stand
So Snoopy went over to the Holy Land
A nice li'l vacation, he thought it would be
But vacations don't always turn out perfectly

He got to the airport, did not like it there
Because he got searched 'cause he had too much hair
"It's species profiling", he said to himself
"Maybe I really should have picked somewhere else"*

Holy Land, the Holy Land
Where they don't eat hogs
Snoopy starts to wonder if
It's no place for a dog

He drove up Mount Carmel, but it was ablaze**
His whiskers got singed and poor Snoopy was dazed
He barely got out, and decided to go
Way down to Jerusalem, a place we all know

He came to a temple all covered with lights***
He asked a few rabbis if he could spend the night
"We don't rent to Arabs"****, one of them said,
"But dogs are okay, I guess, so go right ahead".

Holy Land, the Holy Land
Where they don't eat hogs
Snoopy starts to wonder if
It's no place for a dog

The Armenian Quarter***** is where he is now
But he meets no Armenians, so he has a cow
Somebody then tells him, "They used to live here"
"But they all moved away, 'cause the wars gave them fear"

He went down to Gaza, and ordered some food
He asked for some hummus, and he really got screwed
They thought he meant Hamas******, and some bad guys walked in
Poor Snoop barely made it out with his own skin

Holy Land, the Holy Land
Where they don't eat hogs
Snoopy starts to think that it
Is no place for a dog

Holy Land, the Holy Land
Where they don't eat hogs
Snoopy starts to think that it
Is no place for a dog