Pundit:
Ever since he was a young boy,
He played with withered balls.
His cojones were slighter
Than those on Newts that crawl.
Then tainted rightists put him
In to abuse Congress halls.
That dreck, dung, and slime bitch
Sure is a mean sleazeball.

He mishandles statutes,
Part of the corrupt machine.
Squealing when he's rumpered--
Brays like Howard Dean
He flays the Constitution,
Got dimwits in his thrall.
That dreck, dung, and slime bitch
Sure is a mean sleazeball.

He's a slimeball lizard
From Hastert and from Frist,
The slimeball lizard
Takes such a knuckled fist.

Although he is a nitwit
He does know
How to fake with God.

He's done many infractions,
He's like a buzzard from hell.
He reeks like shite a-splashin',
Anus is his smell
Satan crapped a Delay--
Need stilts above it all.
That dreck, dung, and slime witch
Sure is a pinhead, y'all.

You thought Newt was
The Beltway sleazball king,
But Newt just handed
His slimeball cup to him.

He brings bad bills to the table
For vipers in his nest.
His dimshitefuls sleaze with him,
But he's by far the best.
Got thievin', slippery fingers,
Watch out! He'll steal it all.
That dreck, dung, and slime witch
Sure's paid for his pitfalls.