Groomin’ on a mutt-day arfternoon [sic]
’pooin’: gotta get that dander loose

Soon comes shampooin’ and fur that is wetter
than me in a sauna, wearing a sweater.
I raise a lather, and then I start to scrub.

Douchin’ with a firehose will ensue;
poochin’ ain’t something I like to do.

This act is “puttin on the dog” to me;
and he doesn’t like “pawsmetology.”
I think I found fleas feasting on his feet—yuck!

Groomin’, and my mutt has got the blues;
squeaky is wet floor beneath my shoes…
eau, eau, eau eau.

I took a smutty mutt that day
and made out of him a poodle parfait.
But then he runs out in the mud to play.
Rife now with dreck is he;
pooch is cleaned fecklessly…

doomin’
groomin’.