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Song Parodies -> "Oh Bother, I'm Nearly Sixty"
Original Song Title:
"I Wanna Go Back To Dixie"
Original Performer:
Tom Lehrer
Parody Song Title:
"Oh Bother, I'm Nearly Sixty"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Oh bother, I'm nearly sixty
Gettin' old, I'm nearly sixty
That's a scary middle-ol'-age
For little ol' me
As my face is gettin' pasty
And my midriff's gettin' waist-y
I'm waiting for the Reaper to reap
(Guess I'm running out of time)
An' do I really have to mention
That I nearly get my pension
And I reckon this new "Bingo"'s all the rage
Saga holiday's my idyll
I've stopped caring where I widdle
Now I'm slightly more than middle age
Poll tax, I won't pay ya, I won't pay ya
Too old for poll tax
No, it ain't me that sees my brain is slowing
My what's-it-called? Er.. mind is going
My flies are open and my undies showing
But what the heck, I'm old
Now I've stopped looking for clothing that will flatter me
And I'm losing use of parts of my anatomy
So what if I'm nearly sixty
Got my eye on pixie Trixie
If she'd pluck the hairs a-comin' outta her ears
Turn my 'lectric blanket up to ten
And put my thermals on again
I ain't been truly warm now in years
Pervasive smell of cat-sick
Now I'm fin'ly geriatric
It comes with me and lingers after I go
And I dress with PVC-style
Now I've gone completely senile
Oh, tell me: where is my Steradent?
But don't call me "Old"
Gettin' old, I'm nearly sixty
That's a scary middle-ol'-age
For little ol' me
As my face is gettin' pasty
And my midriff's gettin' waist-y
I'm waiting for the Reaper to reap
(Guess I'm running out of time)
An' do I really have to mention
That I nearly get my pension
And I reckon this new "Bingo"'s all the rage
Saga holiday's my idyll
I've stopped caring where I widdle
Now I'm slightly more than middle age
Poll tax, I won't pay ya, I won't pay ya
Too old for poll tax
No, it ain't me that sees my brain is slowing
My what's-it-called? Er.. mind is going
My flies are open and my undies showing
But what the heck, I'm old
Now I've stopped looking for clothing that will flatter me
And I'm losing use of parts of my anatomy
So what if I'm nearly sixty
Got my eye on pixie Trixie
If she'd pluck the hairs a-comin' outta her ears
Turn my 'lectric blanket up to ten
And put my thermals on again
I ain't been truly warm now in years
Pervasive smell of cat-sick
Now I'm fin'ly geriatric
It comes with me and lingers after I go
And I dress with PVC-style
Now I've gone completely senile
Oh, tell me: where is my Steradent?
But don't call me "Old"
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| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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Brilliant! Loved the line about Pixie Trixie's ears. 555
masterfully written...i have 9 years left till that particular milestone
What Ravyn and Alvin said.
Superb job, Phil. "Turn my 'lectric blanket up to ten/...again/I ain't been truly warm now in years" is too true, and too funny, as was the "smell of cat-sick" line. 555
This is greatness, even though I'm getting too close to your description for comfort (only a couple of years behind Alvin).
Good job! I must say Phil - it's been a while since I've heard from you. You used to be a fairly common reader of my parodies...under my old pen name anways...but ah well great job anyway. Keep up the good work. 555
Thanks, everyone... this is a bit premature (in that I've only just written a parody about being forty), but there are days when it feels so appropriate. Sigh.
Chris - I'm afraid I've been off-line for quite a while: my internet connection at home has been down since trying to switch ISPs in August (hopefully back on line in a week or two... fingers crossed, and all that), so I've been very limited in my time spent on the web: my level of commenting over the past few months has been dire, and not just on your parodies, I'm afraid. I hope to do a full (well, partial, anyway) catch-up with what I've missed once I get reconnected, probably by asking people on the messageboard to point me to songs they think are worth a look.
Chris - I'm afraid I've been off-line for quite a while: my internet connection at home has been down since trying to switch ISPs in August (hopefully back on line in a week or two... fingers crossed, and all that), so I've been very limited in my time spent on the web: my level of commenting over the past few months has been dire, and not just on your parodies, I'm afraid. I hope to do a full (well, partial, anyway) catch-up with what I've missed once I get reconnected, probably by asking people on the messageboard to point me to songs they think are worth a look.
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